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Tell them you're not interested until they send a photo holding the day's newspaper in front of them. You can also get a good idea of thier personality by which rag they are holding. Might save time/money by no first date.
Well my take on the Marti portion of the statement was that they are playing the 'injured' party in the gardening leave situation. Reading between the lines, Marti or at least representatives of Marti approached another club about upcoming 'opportunities' so they had no choice about banishing him to the garden shed. They didn't want to, but Marti gave them no choice. 'honest guv, I didn' t wanna do it, but we were only thinking about the club.
Anything by Mr. George Benson, I'll pick this. If you look like a knob singing in the car imagine playing air guitar and making wahh wahh dooh doopie do bah bah bah sounds with a stupid grin and nodding head.
Even though I'm not British I still get nostalgic for stuff like this, must be my age. These footballers lead normal lives but are worth 10's of......... Thousands. Spiffingly good stuff.