Old One-Eye's View - Much Ado About Nothing Apiece
Monday, 7th Mar 2011 10:17 by Old One-Eye

The bargain basement Rams have found themselves drawn more and more towards what seemed, at one time, an unlikely relegation battle.

Five home games, five home defeats – that had been Derby’s seriously underwhelming record at Pride Park in recent months. In fact, just two points had been accumulated at Pride Park out of a possible 24 since Scunthorpe had been shaded by the odd goal in five back in November.

Dire statistics indeed – and ones which did not exactly fill Old One-Eye with confidence as he contemplated the forthcoming events from behind his pre-match pint in the warmth of the pub.

This week’s game against visitors Barnsley was an unusual occurrence to say the least – it was to be the first time in 2011 that a game at Pride Park would actually kick off at the ‘usual’ time of 3 o’clock on a Saturday afternoon.

The referee was none other than Satan’s own official, Darren Deadman, the man who has recently painted his house in a natty alternating yellow and red rectangle theme, just so that he never forgets his Prime Directive. He was in charge during the game between Norwich and The Rams a couple of years ago which saw a Derby win, umpteen bookings, the dismissal of Roy Carroll and which eventually spawned questions in the House of Commons regarding match-fixing following ‘unusual betting patterns’.

Darren’s recent exploits include single-handedly ensuring that Crawley Town progressed in the FA Cup at the expense of Torquay United – a performance straight out of the Clive Thomas book of reffing which saw nine cautions and two dismissals in a game which contained just 23 fouls.

It remains to be seen whether there is a Stewards’ Enquiry over the referee’s performance at Pride Park this weekend, because only John Brayford saw yellow.

Derby featured the usual hotchpotch of ex-Burton players, lower-league cut-price signings, Championship reserve loanees and everybody’s favourite broadcaster Robbie Savage, whereas Barnsley welcomed back one-time South-East Corner favourite Jay ‘Zombie’ McEveley.

A moment’s explanation for Barnsley fans – when Jay was undergoing surgery a year or so ago, his heart stopped. This is not that unusual – every time he touched the ball, around 30,000 fans’ hearts did the same.

More worrying for Derby was the ominous presence of recent signing ex-Florist Marlon Harewood, on loan from Blackpool for the rest of the season. Journeyman Harewood rarely finishes on the losing side at Pride Park. Luckily, he usually plies his trade at a higher level than that to which The Rams currently aspire to.

Rams Manager Nigel Clough and Chief Executive Tom Glick had both gone to great lengths in the days and hours running up to the game to reassure Derby supporters that a ‘major overhaul’ would be taking place during the close season.

With season ticket renewal time being just around the corner, but it was difficult to tell whether they were talking about the playing staff, the tarmac on the car park or whether they were considering cleaning the pipes to improve the standard of the undrinkable beer on the concourse.

The weather was foul – it was actually surprising that Mr Deadman didn’t caution it – and Barnsley started brightly with Garry O’Connor bringing a smart save out of Frank Fielding at the near post with a volley which the keeper did well to turn aside. In an instant Derby took the play to the other end, and good work by Tomasz Cywka on the right gave Theo Robinson a fleeting opportunity but the young striker was unable to make contact and the chance was gone.

Robinson is quick – very quick – but he does seem to have the odd issue regarding ball control. It is frequently said by pundits and disgruntled managers alike that such-and-such a player “...cannot trap a bag of cement”. Well, Theo can – a lot further than Old One-Eye can kick one for a start. Cywka set him up again on 10 minutes, but a clumsy first touch saw the ball safely gathered by Luke Steele in the Barnsley goal.

That was pretty much it as far as the first half was concerned. Neither side had enough composure on the ball to be able to engineer anything that could really be described as a clear goal-scoring opportunity.

Robbie Savage ran around a lot getting in the way of Barnsley and Derby player alike, Diego Arismendi headed wide for the visitors while a drive by Paul Green was inches over and a Jamie Ward thunderbolt was blocked at the expense of a corner.

Half time came and went with no improvement in the weather. The incessant drizzle turned decidedly heavier for a time, but not really heavy enough to give the referee cause to abandon the game, worse luck.

As it was, the tedium was almost broken by Ward bursting through, rounding Steele and – predictably – putting the ball wide of the far post. A goal straight after half time might have gone a long way to lift the edginess which accompanies all Derby’s home performances of late.

Two minutes later, Barnsley were the width of the upright away from taking the lead themselves. A corner was firmly met by the head of Paul McShane, who looks surprisingly sprightly seeing as it’s almost 25 years since his last appearance alongside fellow defender Su Pollard in Hi-de-Hi, only to see the ball thud away off the woodwork.

Green volleyed over, a Ward free kick was spilled by Steele with Robinson unable to make contact before the Barnsley keeper was grateful to fall on the loose ball and much to the delight of the match official himself and bookmakers everywhere Mr Deadman (the referee, not Jay McEveley) was finally able to brandish his second-favourite colour with a flourish after John Brayford had manhandled Jacob Butterfield, but what goes on behind closed doors is no business of yours.

Four minutes of stoppage-time was tolerated, the rain eventually stopped and it was left to Mrs One-Eye to sum up the match in a word – “Dreary” – and who am I to argue?

On a positive note though, it was a huge improvement on the Doncaster performance, and it is gratifying to acknowledge that there is at least one other side in the Championship who do not appear to be any better than Derby.

There are 11 games left for The Rams to play this season, and it is likely that just two or possibly three victories will see them over the line and securing their future at the second level of English football – for that appears to be the limit of our ambitions and those of the Board at the moment.

With such a toothless forward line and with the creativity of Alberto Bueno seemingly permanently rooted to the bench, it is difficult to see where goals are going to come from, so the defence will need to be on top form from now until May.

The remarkable thing this season is that there are still more than 26,000 attending home games – but then again, many of us are “Derbyshire born and Derbyshire bred” – I think you know the rest.

Old One-Eye's Man of the Match:

Paul Green – busy.

Old One Eye's Player Ratings:

Fielding(6); Brayford(6), Barker(6), Ayala(5), Roberts(5); Cywka(5) (B Davies 84), Green(7) Savage(5) (Addison 71), Pearson(4); Robinson(5), Ward(6).

Unused Subs: Duke, Doyle, Porter, S Davies.

Unusable Sub: Bueno

Become a fan of the RamZone Facebook page by following the link below.

RamZone - Facebook

Every time we add a news story, column, report or any other Rams related article then as our friend on Facebook, you will receive an instant update.

RamZone - The oldest independent Derby County site on the net!

By the Fans - For the Fans!

Photo: Action Images

Please report offensive, libellous or inappropriate posts by using the links provided.