Old One-Eye's Match Report: WHam Bam, Thank You, Rams!
Sunday, 1st Jan 2012 14:04 by Old One-Eye

Two wins over the festive fixtures was surely too much to hope for as the Rams faced a visit from second placed West Ham. Hope became reality as Nigel’s boys delivered another impressive home victory.

Derby County vs. West Ham United

Pride Park Stadium

3:00pm – Saturday December 10th

Referee:

Jonathan Moss (Dirty Leeds)

Attendance:

28067 (3250 West Ham fans and a very happy chap called Bubbles)

Teams:

The Rams:

Fielding, Brayford, Barker, Shackell, Roberts, Green, Bailey, Bryson, Ward (B Davies 73’), Ball (Buxton 90’), Tyson (Robinson 46’).

Unused Substitutes: Legzdins, Priskin.

Goals: Ball (2’), Green (10’)

The Hammered:

Green, Reid, Tomkins, Noble, O'Brien, Diop (Hall 79’), Lansbury, Nouble, Piquonne (Baldock 61’), O'Neil (Cole 61’), Potts.

Unused Substitutes: Carew, Sears.

Yellow Cards: Lansbury, Reid, O'Brien, Cole

Goals: Nouble (42’)

Old One-Eye’s Match Report:

WHam Bam, Thank You, Rams

Media darlings West Ham United came rolling into town for the New Year’s Eve encounter with Derby County at Pride Park, shorn of a number of key players due largely to a 15 minute exhibition of indiscipline and petulance at St Andrews on Boxing Day which saw no less than three players rattle up their fifth booking of the season.

The self-styled ‘Academy of Football’ was still able to have the luxury of being able to name John Carew, a veteran of 91 international games for Norway, on the bench. For Derby, Nigel Clough had a luxury of his own - being able to name the same eleven who performed with such determination in defeating Leeds United five days before. More to the point, this meant that Nathan Tyson had not suffered renal failure, ague, sunspots or a rectal prolapse following on from his successful and much-delayed home debut.

Whereas victory over The Dirties is an almost foregone conclusion nowadays, the opposite has invariably been the case whenever The Rams have clashed with The Hammers in recent years. Old One-Eye actually had to look up the last time Derby had snaffled all three points against United at Pride Park – December 1997. Mind you, that’s hardly surprising. Old One-Eye actually had to look up what he had for breakfast this morning.

The referee was that rarest of animals – a whistle-blower who had actually seen a game of football in his youth. More than that, he even played the game for a while at academy-level - for Sunderland and Millwall - but Jonathan Moss soon gave up playing in favour of becoming a teacher. It could be argued that he actually gave up playing the minute he signed for Millwall.

Mr Moss has recently been promoted to the Select Group of Referees – this means that he is now following in the footsteps of a certain Stuart Attwell, so any early promise he has shown in his career will soon go out of the window.

I should point out that he had already booked 58 and sent off seven before today’s kick-off – apparently a bus got in his way this morning on his journey down the M1. He has now given up teaching and become a Headmaster, which means that he gets first choice of the dunking biscuits in the Staff Room.

In what was one of the more impressive starts from any side this season, West Ham were soon defending a throw-in near their own corner flag before any Derby player had even touched the ball. The ineptitude displayed by Potts in defending the kick-off was repeated moments later when he cleverly nodded John Brayford’s throw-in straight to Tyson who laid the ball off to Callum Ball. The young tank swivelled and unleashed a curling drive into the far top corner to give the home side the perfect start on two minutes.

The Rams continued to impress during the opening exchanges with quick passes to feet, with Jamie Ward and Gareth Roberts repeatedly making inroads down the Hammers’ right. Ward threatened to go outside the full-back, checked inside and laid the ball back to Roberts. The full-back’s perfect cross was superbly met by Paul Green and his header ripped past erstwhile England goalkeeper Robert Green to make it a Fleet Street-shattering 2-0 to Derby with less than 10 minutes gone.

John Brayford was unceremoniously pulled back by Henri Angela-Lansbury as the right-back looked to bear down on goal after being sent clear following good work on the right by James Bailey, an offence which saw the young Gooner rightly given a yellow card and a hundred lines by referee Moss. The free kick eventually fell into the path of Ward who failed to connect properly.

West Ham’s sole tactic at this stage seemed to be to stop and admire the dazzling display that the home side were putting on, and twice in as many minutes Jamie Ward had fleeting opportunities from around the edge of the box to put the result beyond doubt, but on each occasion he snatched his shot wide. For the visitors, Frederic Piquionne was beginning to shake off his post-Christmas lethargy but he too failed to hit the target on more than one occasion.

Finally, West Ham threatened, albeit briefly. Winston Reid found the increasingly influential Mark Noble who in turn fed Potts. He tried to pick out the even more increasingly confusing Frank Nouble but Derby skipper Shaun Barker managed to nick the ball away from the West Ham striker.

The game was becoming a real end-to-end thriller, and moments later Tyson was within a foot of giving Derby an unassailable lead. Unfortunately for Tyson, Derby and 25,000 Rams fans, the foot belonged to Potts and the goal-bound shot deflected narrowly wide of the post with Green struggling.

The last 10 minutes of the first half belonged almost entirely to the visitors. Wave after wave of West Ham attacks fell at the feet of Derby’s back four, for whom Roberts was having probably his best game since joining The Rams and he came to Frank Fielding’s rescue after Nouble’s shot was too hot to handle. There was nothing they could do about the goal that brought United back into the game though.

It is said that the most ‘dangerous’ score-line in football is 2-0, although in practice the most dangerous score-line in football is anything when Steve Davies is anywhere near the pitch – dangerous to him, anyway. The theory is that a side pulling the score back to 2-1 are further inspired to equalise and then go on to win. Let’s not dwell on this for too long – it happens enough to Derby.

Anyway, Potts was felled by Bailey, the free kick was nodded on by O’Neil, Piquionne laid the ball back and Nouble passed the ball into the corner of the net beyond the flailing arm of Fielding. It was a goal quite superb in its simplicity and execution, and a couple of minutes before half time The Hammers were right back in the encounter.

The hitherto anonymous Papa Bouba Diop headed towards goal, Fielding saved and it was finally scrambled away by a combination of Barker and Brayford. At the other end, Callum Ball was inches wide of the mark as West Ham’s offside trap was sprung, then finally the referee brought a breathtaking half to a close.

It became apparent that during the half time interval, Nathan Tyson was congratulated on his excellent first half performance by Steve Davies. Rumour has it that the resultant compound fracture to his fingers, wrist, forearm, elbow and shoulder from too firm a handshake will take a while to heal. Expect him back in 2014.

The second half saw Theo Robinson on for Tyson, and The Hammers trying to continue where they left off, forcing a numbe of early corners, but it was The Rams who looked the more likely scorers. One baffling piece of refereeing saw the advantage played, then when Robinson burst free of the last defender and bore down on Green, Headmaster mode kicked in and the over-officious official pulled play back to the half way line.

Fielding did well to palm over from a Noble free kick, then O’Brien and former Rams loanee James Tomkins found themselves incurring the wrath of the increasingly fussy referee, both talking themselves into the book over a throw-in, no less. The West Ham fans, seeing the futility of their side’s efforts at this stage, started cheering the award of additional throw-ins as though they were goals.

Ball missed another glorious chance for Derby, again beating the keeper only to put the ball wide of the upright, then Bailey, Davies and Robinson in quick succession all went close to quelling the home supporters’ jangling nerves with near-misses and being thwarted by point-blank saves by Green.

Sam Allardyce brought on Carlton Cole, Robert Hall and Sam Baldock as the cultured approach gave way to an aerial bombardment, but this is food and drink to Barker and Shackell at the heart of Derby’s defence. Where Derby owed a huge debt of gratitude to Fielding for victory over Leeds as the keeper produced a string of brilliant stops, on this occasion the back line held firm and Fielding was seldom tested.

Roberts dived in the way of a goal-bound strike from Noble, and then Carlton Cole vented his frustration in the direction of the referee. Big Sam did likewise, berating the fourth official about the injustice of it all.

Mr Allardyce, who has recently given up chewing gum in favour of urine-soaked thistles in an attempt to soften his facial expression and to stop frightening the local children, was not amused, but everyone else was.

A Happy New Year to all our reader.

Old One-Eye's Man of the Match:

Gareth Roberts – At the very top of his game.

Old One-Eye's Player Ratings:

Fielding(6); Brayford(7), Barker(8), Shackell(7), Roberts(9); Green(8), Bailey(7), Bryson(6), Ward(6) (B Davies 5); Tyson(7) (Robinson 6), Ball(8) (Buxton)

Manager’s Reaction:

Nigel Clough was more than happy to get two wins from the Rams festive fixtures:

"We've produced two outstanding team performances to get six points. In terms of hard work, tackling and working for each other - it's as good as we've seen in the last three years and the players have had to work to their absolute maximum.”

"When you consider the sides we've been up against too, it has been a monumental effort. The start was brilliant, that really set us on our way.”

"Callum Ball's goal was outstanding and anyone who has seen the reserves and youth team in the last year or two will have seen him do that before and it's nice he is producing it for the first-team having made the step up.”

"We're disappointed we didn't kick on and extend our lead beyond 2-0, given the chances we had and how much we dominated early on. They got back in the game before the break but we stood up to their pressure in the second half and had the better chances too.”

"We don't intend to sit-back, especially at home, but sometimes the quality of the opposition dictates if that happens or not."

"It would be great to get something at Hull and start the New Year positively. Even a point would be a good result for us on the road. We've got six points in the bag, which is lovely from two home games, and we'll do all we can to get something at Hull."