It’s the morning of the third round of the FA Cup, a time that in days gone by got the adrenaline flowing, the chance of a cup run, the dream of twin spires and Wembley.

Today it’s synonymous with weakened teams, low crowds and in Derby’s case unreserved seating.

Now don’t get me wrong, if the club are expecting a low crowd it makes sense to try to save money.  Leeds for example hardly ever open the top of their East Stand, not being a big club any more the unofficial reason. But to cram everybody into the East Stand and leave season tickets holders the option of pot luck where they sit or arrive early enough to read five chapters of “War and Peace” whilst waiting for the match to start just to gain their regular seats is perverse in the extreme.

As it was we chose the latter, unfamiliar faces abound. 

Next to me a Michelin Man appears, with one assumes his son. The son is in mid fifties, the father mind reeks, as he squeezes his bulk into the next seat a displacement of air forms a cloud, it’s cheesy, it’s horrible. I gag. It’s also too late to move.   

Teams on the pitch, lineups read over the tannoy, those who haven’t seen a game applaud as Conor Doyle is announced.

Game underway, a throw in by John Brayford back to Frank Fielding, the keeper clears. “Why didn’t he pick that up” the Michelin Man asks his son, harking back to another time.

James Bailey clears, “Well done Brayford” a female voice directly behind shouts. It sounds for all the world like Wolfies girlfriend’s mum from Citizen Smith. Dottily optimistic with her praise and with an inaccuracy that Graham Richards could only dream about it’s a theme that continues throughout the whole match. Eventually those around her give in making the corrections.

On the pitch and the Rams are the better team, Jamie Ward crosses low and fast, Callum Ball steams in but Theo Robinson meets the pass, he shoots once and Lewis Price the goalkeeper time forgot blocks the ball back into Theo’s patch and Robinson slots the rebound home with his right peg. It reminds me I need a peg.

One nil, nine minutes gone and within the next sixty seconds Robinson shots again, this time it’s a thirty yarder that Price holds at the second attempt. 

Derby have so much play and Price is so poor the floodgates must open surely, we think five, six possibly more. Ripe for the taking, I hold my nose.

It doesn’t happen. We have seen the highlights. We are the other batteries in the Duracell advert. Palace keep on running, we plod with the exception of Craig Bryson who seems to have his own supply of Lithium.

Eventually the whistle goes and we all head home. Number Eighteen in the bowl tomorrow. Job done.

One final thought. Today with a crowd of 10,000 it proved impossible to get a half time drink, the East Stand concourse was rammed at the interval, not all food concessions were open, those that were weren’t fully staffed, the outside catering was reduced by fifty percent and even a trip to the semi empty North Stand wasn’t possible in the time allowed. 

So thank you DCFC, even with record crowds of in excess of 30k I’ve managed a drink, today with barely a third of that it wasn’t, the phrase “Couldn’t run a tap” seems appropriate.

Players performances:

Frank Fielding 6 - Very little to do, handling at corners better than usual.

John Brayford 5 - Dependable but not on top form.

Shaun Barker 7 – Powerful in the air and timing of his tackles superb.

Jason Shackell 6 – Took a knock early on, played through it but stiff in movement.

Gareth Roberts – 7 Another excellent game by the fullback.

Paul Green 4 – The type of performance that will keep him at Pride Park till May.

Jason Bailey 4 – Distribution poor, tackling poor, positioning poor.

Craig Bryson 8 – A breath of fresh air, incredibly high energy and creative too.

Jamie Ward 6 – tired early ended up in a defensive role alongside Roberts.

Callum Ball 7 – Held the ball up well, brought others into play and fought for everything.

Theo Robinson 6 – Scored the goal, worked hard, if only he had a first touch.

Jake Buxton (sub) – 5 Did little wrong in fact  had little time to do anything.

Photo: Action Images

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