Ahead of Saturday’s trip to Watford, QPR have signed an f-ing striker.

Watford (0-0-1 LL 22nd) v QPR (0-1-0 DL 13th)

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When QPR fans talk about how they fell in love with this club, they often talk about tens.

Stan and Rodney, players so synonymous with the club and the shirt they no longer require the clarification of a surname. Tony Currie, Simon Stainrod and John Byrne through the 1980s. Roy Wegerle and later Adel Taarabt, cut from the same cloth - players who got you out of bed in the morning, players who made you feel alive, players who made it worthwhile going to Oldham or Barnsley just in case they had a piece of magic waiting there especially for you as thanks for making the journey. QPR is cool. It’s West London, it’s the Sex Pistols, it’s The Clash, it’s The Libertines. It’s dodgy barnets and spiv boardroom antics, always up to something, bit flashy and flairy, and a number ten you’d pay to come and watch. Come in, we’ll look for the rent together.

At Newcastle, it’s nines. Jackie Milburn, Hughie Gallacher, Malcolm Macdonald, Alan Shearer, and Les Ferdinand. We’ve had a few of those ourselves of course, including Les in his awesome, spectacular 90s prime. Brian Bedford scored 180 goals in 283 appearances for this club. Often for every Stainrod there was a Clive Allen, for every Byrne there was a Gary Bannister. Kevin Gallen is a club legend at ‘ten’, but his best two spells were alongside Les in the 90s and Paul Furlong in the 2000s (a nine to all intents and purposes, though never in that shirt due to squad number preferences).

Perhaps it was a winger that got you. Dave Thomas, more than likely. Wayne Fereday, the fastest man in moustaches. I became hooked on the Don Howe/Gerry Francis team of the 1990s that stuck Andy Sinton and Andy Impey tight to the touchline on both sides of the pitch and asked teams to defend against that. Good fucking luck. No wonder the strikers scored goals. When Sinton was sold, they signed Trevor Sinclair – ye gods.

Imagine being a child in West London in 1994. Surrounded in school by plastic “United” fans who’d never been any further than zone five, and Spurs fans whose dads never took them to a game. What can you hang your little cap on other than “at least I go to the matches?” Electric dreadlocked winger and bicycle kick specialist might do the job. Trev was my man for a while, I was mesmerised by the bloke. That’s what football is at its best – thrilling, unexpected, instinctive. Against Man City at Loftus Road in October 1996 he walked onto a bouncing ball, out by the dugouts, near the halfway line, and first time side-footed it back over the goalkeeper and into the top corner from the thick end of 50 yards out. And it’s rarely spoken about or replayed. Because there was just… so much else.

When I was mascot for an FA Cup tie against Aylesbury, the club got wind of my infatuation and had Trevor take me round the ground pre-game and introduce me to everybody as he wasn’t playing. When it came to the dressing room while everybody was out warming up he set me up by asking who my favourite player was, and I shyly told him. He said “well, I’m not playing today, but here, have Les’ shirt instead”. Come five minutes to three a very angry Les Ferdinand was storming topless around the tunnel demanding to know where his top was. I had to nervously put my hand up in front of 22 footballers and referee Peter Jones that it was “in my backpack”. Alan McDonald gave them a fierce rocket about professionalism, respect and taking the game lightly. We were 3-0 up by half time. Les, clothed, scored the second.

My point is, it’s the guys that score the goals, isn’t it? As Jamie Carragher said, nobody grows up wanting to be Gary Neville (though I loved David Bardsley and Clive Wilson too). Is there a club that revere goalkeepers, or big bastard centre backs, like our tens, or Newcastle nines? Wimbledon maybe? Arsenal.

Which means if you’ve been trying to indoctrinate your kids into QPR lately, or sticking up for yourself in West London schools now full of Chelsea and “City”, or trying to corral a group of your teenage mates to go to Loftus Road with you on a Saturday afternoon, it’s been tough going for a while. See how Charlie Austin is absolutely adored by that younger element of our support, as a proper centre forward who scored 21 times to get us into the Premier League and then bagged 18 in the division upstairs despite playing in a shit and eventually relegated team. That’s what you dream of.

Infamously, the nearest QPR have come to replacing Austin is when they brought the actual El Guapo back to try and save us from relegation during the Covid lockdowns, and then permanently in 2021/22 to try and get us into the play-off picture. A bit older, a bit thicker round the waist, a lot slower, but still got it – those eight goals in 2020/21 were not only sweet meadow honey to a support base that had been locked in their homes for the best part of two years and forced to watch Lyndon Dykes and Macauley Bonne on dodgy internet streams, but also crucial in making sure we didn’t slide into League One during a period of time that was painful enough.

Since relegation from the Premier League in 2014/15, it’s goal scorers we’ve struggled with most, and “sign a fucking striker” has become so generic it’s a QPR meme in and of itself.

Strikers are the most in demand. Strikers are the most expensive. And the idea you must have a 20-goal-a-season version dies a new death each year when you see how few of them there actually are around – last year, in the EFL, just two, and of course one of those was a contracted QPR player out on loan because of fucking course of course it was. The last five players who’ve made it to 20 goals in the Championship were all traded for £10m or more at their most recent move bar Carlton Morris at Luton. QPR haven’t had a striker score 20 goals in a regulation league season since Andy Thomson in 2001/02 (Charlie got there in 2013/14 thanks to two in the play-offs).

QPR’s attempts even to furnish themselves with the sort of 12-14 goal Dexter Blackstock striker even the farcical Paladini regime was able to snaffle from Southampton has been lamentable.

We came back into this league in 2015/16, Austin scored ten times in 12 starts, and then left for Southampton. Tjaronn Chery, a midfielder, finished top scorer, also on ten. The club spent parachute payments and transfer fees received on Peterborough’s non-league forward Conor Washington, big fucking German Seb Polter and banterous tap in merchant Idrissa Sylla. The following year they scored seven, four (!!) and ten respectively = 21. You’re still trying to replace Giambi, I’ve told you we can’t do it – what we can do is recreate him, recreate him in the aggregate. The following year Scott Hatteberg scored six, David Justice seven, and Ian Holloway summoned Matt Smith for a chunky haul of 11 goals – all of them headers. Out of our way Championship, Big Posh Matt is here.

Steve McClaren correctly identified this lot were toilet. He demanded a “team of men” on loan. Nahki Wells scored a magnificent seven. Tomer Hemed managed the same, either side of a winter he didn’t ever pretend being at all arsed about even for PR purposes. The team was dragged clear of relegation by Luke Freeman, a midfielder.

Double figures galore the following year, as Mark Warburton’s more positive approach yielded 13 goals for Wells and Jordan Hugill. But both were on loan, and I’d have scored 11 times myself that year playing in front of Ilias Chair, Bright Osayi-Samuel and, most of all, Ebere Eze, who calmly stroked home 14 of his own. With that supply line broken up we spent the money on Lyndon Dykes and Macauley Bonne Offside, and reverted to type. Dykes got 12, Bonne only three, and it needed Austin to rescue us with a cameo of eight. The following year, while spending money and pushing for promotion, Austin was out-scored by Luke Amos, Dykes got eight, and Andre Gray scored ten. It was the last time a QPR player reached double figures. The top scorers since have been Dykes with eight, Chair with seven and Frey with eight.

We don’t know how Rumarn Burrell and Richard Kone will do for QPR. There were high hopes, at one point or another, for all the waifs and strays I’ve mentioned here. Sylla, Polter, Washington, Dykes, even fucking Bonne, had nicely volleyed goals at Birmingham or last minute winners at Derby or afternoons breathing fire over the wheatfields of Reading where you thought… maybe we might have something here. Burrell has made positive impacts in both his cameos so far, particularly his work rate, pace and ability to create chances for himself (QPR have spent most of the last decade starving their strikers, so that’ll come in handy). Kone has an extraordinary scoring record and looks the real deal – physical, scores with both feet, adored by the analysts.

They look, for me, our best attempt at solving this decade-long striker drought. Exhilarating, ambitious purchases, against stiff competition from elsewhere. Something to get excited about at last. But one was playing for Cove Rangers a year ago, and the other was at Athletic Newham just before that. They’re young, they’ve never played this level, and we are not – put kindly – a striker factory. It’s tough to play up front for QPR. Kone's goals dried up last year - none in his last 11 appearances. We must not hang these lads with our history, with our expectation, and with our desperation to have somebody, anybody, who can play upfront for this club and be able to find his own arse with both hands.

They start as a duo tomorrow at Watford, a team who have themselves focused on trying to approve their attack this summer and soared from 20th in our initial season preview to tenth in the final copy on the basis of what they’d done to the top end of the pitch. Giorgi Chakvetadze injured is a right touch. Kwadwo Baah running at Esquerdinha while both our first choice full backs are out... less so.

But a team already lacking defensively is now also missing son of God Matty Pollock from its line-up, and for once it feels like QPR are going into a game with some people who might be able to take advantage of that.

Links >>> Kone statement signing – Analysis >>> Meet the new boss, same as the old boss? Oppo Profile >>> Champions for a week at least – History >>> Prem ref in charge – Referee >>> Watford Official Website >>> Vicarage Road - Ground Guide >>> WFC Forums — Message Board >>> Watford Observer — Local Press >>> Voices of the Vic — Podcast

Below the fold

Team News: After a troubled summer on this front there is some good news on the squad’s various absentees. Jonathan Varane is back from concussion protocols and will likely start. Paul Smyth should also be fit to return. Jimmy Dunne is not available but his hip complaint is not as serious as rumoured and he should be back in the squad for Coventry away next week. We await firm news on Kwame Poku who appeared to injure his hamstring against Preston. The former Peterborough man will not feature tomorrow, but Julien Stéphan told the written press he’s hopeful the injury is not too serious. Michi Frey remains sidelined until after the international break but Rumarn Burrell impressed for 45 minutes at Plymouth following a pre-season interrupted by Gold Cup participation, and Richard Kone will likely start for his full QPR debut according to the manager. Kieran Morgan took a bang to the shin last week and is a doubt. Jake Clarke-Salter is out long term.

Watford’s new manager Paulo Pezzolano has already felt compelled to deny interference in his team and tactics from coach Valon Behrami in just the second week of the season, so it’s all sounding very Watford already at Vicarage Road. Their start to the season has not been aided by the absence of Georgian playmaker Giorgi Chakvetadze who was one of the best opposition players we faced last season. Winger Rocco Vata will return here to join a formidable collection of wide players that includes Kwadwo Baah and Nestory Irankunda and is not ideal for a QPR side likely fielding rookie full backs on both sides. Son of God Mattie Pollock is missing until the international break.

Elsewhere: The return of The Best League In The World means no Championship action for you this Friday to clear the viewing path for Liverpool v Bournemouth.

It means ten fixtures in our league on Saturday, including a whopping seven of them in the traditional kick off slot including our own. A veritable feast.

The three 12.30 games are headlined by Derby’s new look squad hosting Frank Lampard’s Coventry, who look like losing influential centre back Bobby Thomas to Sheffield Red Stripe in an £8m deal. Portsmouth started with an away victory, having only achieved three in the whole of last year, and now host Norwich looking to capitalize and justify some of the optimism around their chances in the summer previews. And Wrexham’s spending knows no bounds as Nathan Broadhead arrives from Ipswich for £7.5m potentially rising as high as £10m ahead of a visit from West Brom – their own PSR issues will be aided immensely by turning £600k defender Heggem into a £8m sale inside 12 months, though it won’t help their backline much meantime.

Blackburn started the year with a loss at The Hawthorns, and after a big summer talent drain have now been told their star midfielder Lewis Travis also wants to join former boss John Eustace at Derby. Journalists were banned from mentioning his name at the pre-match press conference today. The loss of Travis from the Rovers midfield would only heighten suspicions this might be the year the Venky’s malignant ownership tells in a relegation, and things don’t get any easier on the pitch with a visit from Birmingham and the thick end of 8,000 travelling supporters. Bristol City, who we weren’t sure about, put out a statement 4-1 away win at Sheffield Red Stripe on day one and now host Charlton. Millwall, who we really fancied, won at Carrow Road last weekend and play at home to Boro.

Marti Cifuentes’ Leicester were surprisingly trailing for Sheff Wed on day one before rallying late, and they now head up to Preston Knob End. Wednesday, meanwhile, are certainly making a better fist of their early games than anybody expected and they now host Stoke. That Sheff Utd loss last week was followed by a dressing down of the players on the pitch by new boss Ruben Selles. That goes one of two ways, and we’ll start finding out when they head to Swanselona this weekend.

Sunday sees a clash of two parachute payment teams in Ipswich and Southampton (the Saint’s only away win in the whole of last season was at Portman Road) followed by two relegation favourites meeting in Hull and Oxford.

Mercifully, no midweek round this week.

Referee: Premier League referee Tony Harrington in charge of this one. QPR and Watford both lost 3-1 to Stoke the last time they had this official. Details.

Form

- No team took fewer points than Watford in the Championship over the back half of last season – the Hornets won just five of their final 25 games in all comps and finished 14th.

- Watford started this season with a last minute 1-0 loss at newly promoted Charlton and a 2-1 cup exit at home to Norwich. The defeat at The Valley ends a run of five consecutive opening day victories which includes QPR’s infamous 4-0 collapse at Vicarage Road in 2023/24. They haven’t lost both opening league games since 2003/04.

- It means the Hornets have not won any of last seven games in all comps, losing six. They’ve picked up just one point from their last six Championship fixtures.

- Much of the season preview optimism around Watford seemed to be based on an attack fed by Chekvetadze and Louzza, with Baah as good a right winger as there is in this league, and the likes of Vivaldo Semedo, Nestory Irankunda and Luca Kjerrumgaard added this summer with impressive CVs in Europe. But with a 1-0 and 2-1 loss under their belts so far it’s now 14 games in all comps since Watford scored more than one goal in a game.

- The 0-0 draw here last year only finished that way because QPR missed a boatload of chances. Nevertheless it was part of a formidable start to the season at home by Tom Cleverley’s side – unbeaten in the first 11 home games, winning nine and therefore dropping only four points including those two. They’ve won only three of 12 on this ground since.

- That, and QPR’s subsequent 3-1 win at Loftus Road a month later, means the R’s have only lost two of the last 11 games against this opponent. The Gareth Ainsworth opening day massacre spoils a run of one defeat in six at Vicarage Road, including three victories – although the R’s have failed to win or score in each of the last two.

- Tom Cleverley was the first manager Watford manager to start and finish a season since Javi Gracia in 2018/19. Uruguayan Paulo Pezzolano was appointed as his successor this summer having won promotion with Valladolid in Spain and Cruzeiro in Brazil in his prior two gigs. He is Watford’s sixth manager since the start of the 2022/23 season, 11th in the last five years and 19th in the last ten years.

- Watford have finished 11th, 15th and 14th in three seasons since relegation from PL in 2022.

- QPR have won just two of their opening 17 matches in each of the last two seasons, and started this year with a 1-1 draw at home to Preston before giving up a two goal lead to lose 3-2 at Plymouth with a much-changed team in the League Cup.

- QPR’s tendency to duck out of cup competitions doesn’t produce an uptick in results for the rested first teamers in the following game. Rangers’ record after their last 20 cup exits is W7 D7 L6.

- The R’s won the final three away games of last season at Oxford (3-1), Preston (2-1) and Sunderland (1-0) having lost six in a row on the road immediately before that.

- Only Sheffield Wednesday (six) faced more so-called “big chances” than Watford (four) on Championship opening weekend. No side lost possession in their own defensive third more often than QPR (six).

- New signing Richard Kone scored 21 goals in all comps for Wycombe last season, inclinging 18 in League One, which was the most league goals by a Wycombe player since Stuart Beavon in 2011/12. Kone was subsequently named the division’s player and young player of the season, but he failed to score in his final 11 appearances for the Chairboys.

Prediction: In our Prediction League for 2025/26 we’ll once again be handing out prizes for being top at Christmas and overall winner from The Art of Football - sample the merch from our sponsor’s newly extended QPR collection here. We welcome a new contributor this year as QPR_Hibs won last season’s Prediction League at a canter and has agreed to lend his thoughts to the previews...

“When you've just been to the cinema, do you sometimes come away thinking - well, I enjoyed that but I've got a few issues with the plot? Like why did the six assassins attack Jason Bourne one at a time? Or how does 007 manage to park on double yellows in Whitehall without getting a ticket? And is the whole Paddington franchise really just about a talking bear?

“Anyway, I didn't care much for the latest comedy/drama that hit our screens last week, namely 'The QPR Project 2025.' I definitely had a couple of issues with the plot. Looking at Saturday's team sheet, for example, where was Ziyad Larkeche and who was playing right back? Injured in training, probably long-term and Kieran Morgan were the answers confirmed by the script writer.

“And what about Tuesday's farcical plotline? Bunch of kids, leading 2-0 at half-time against all the odds, finally succumbing to a brave 3-2 defeat, whilst the whole of the first team put their collective feet up. The reviews are in: "Sacre Bleu, I'm very proud. 5 stars." (J Stephan.)

“Wednesday provided the ultimate plot twist with the statement signing of Richard Kone from Wycombe. Surely, he will go straight into the squad for Saturday, though I would expect him to be on the bench, with the lightning quick Rumarn Burrell starting up top.

“One positive from Tuesday night was the performance of Harvey Vale, who showed QPR fans that it is possible to deliver a set-piece without hitting the first man or lumping it straight to the goalkeeper. Tylon Smith and Alex Wilkie also looked decent at the back. Unfortunately injuries continue to be a problem for the R's and Kwame Poku has now been added to the treatment room list. The news is better on Jimmy Dunne, thankfully.

“Watford lost 1-0 to a late Charlton goal last weekend and, like us, fielded an inexperienced side in the League Cup on Tuesday, albeit with a smattering of older pros in the team and on the bench. They lost at home to Norwich. You'd have to hope that resting our entire first team will have its benefits for Saturday's Vicarage Road trip but I fear that we are not yet fully up to speed and may suffer a low scoring defeat.”

QPR_Hibs Prediction: Watford 1-0 QPR. No scorer.

LFW’s Prediction: Watford 2-2 QPR. Scorer – Richard Kone

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Pictures - Reuters Connect

TacticalR added 22:38 - Aug 15 Thanks for your preview. Quite extraordinary how long this 'striker drought' has gone on, no doubt partly due to poor recruitment and partly due to finances. Not to mention players like Washington who couldn't even do the basics. At least Warburton managed to get the team into a state where players like Hugill could get into double figures. Goals from somewhere would be very welcome.

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royinaus added 02:03 - Aug 16 Where’s all the money come from?
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