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Ins & Outs 10:07 - Jul 22 with 492 views

Time for an ins & outs, obviously in the grand Ugly Inside tradition first started in 1988 we have robbed most of these from elsewhere

Ins

· Growling when there’s a knock at the door.

· Remembering Joe Bugner.

· Brushing your teeth with Lard.

Jeremy’s Foreskin (Ohhhhhh, Jeremy’s Foreskin!)

· Sweat rashes on your sausages.

· Cheese flavoured belts.

· Wah Wah.

· Staring at your boss for 3 hours, without speaking or blinking

· Calling sandwiches Sarnies.

· Coughing up an anal plug.

· Corduroy glasses (the drinking vessel variety AND the visual aid variety)

· Taking offence to Ins & Outs

· Sleeping on your mantlepiece.

· Being round and proud.

· Getting mugged in Barcelona

· Greaseproof paper knickers.

· Saving a chin, in case you lose the first one.

· Constipation theorists.

· Trying to outgig your mate.

· Biting the wart.

· Putting a pickle in your daughters purse.

· Pube sideboards.

· Unexplained curtsying when your uncle comes round.

· Protecting your rib cage with flabage.

· Papa Diaz

· Mama Diaz

· Confusing Stan Boardman with Baroness Kate Hoey

· George Galloways wife

· George Galloways hat

· Buying England Lioness’s soiled kits on e-bay

· Postmen wearing shorts on the coldest day of the year

· Sven Goran Eriksson

· Getting your bus pass

· Singing out loud the vowels in Celine Dion’s name

· Politely blowing raspberries at the Man City team coach when it arrives at your ground

· Still having your Manhattans membership card

· Being a vegan between meals

· Asking ‘who’s he’ when someone mentions Taylor Swift

· Not owning a quad bike

· Whistling silently.

· Whispering loudly.

· Having an unconscious conscious

· Queen Victoria’s Knob.

· Naming your first born, New Paragraph Please.

Outs

· Talking about Saltburn

· Arsenal fans

· Tiktok lingerie

· “cool” colleagues.

· Delivering a lecture so drunk, you start crying.

· Hanging out with the bad boys to try to attain coolness.

· People who don’t get that the Earth is actually square.

· Posting stuff about well-being, but being a 2 faced, snidey, gobshite in reality.

· Bringing yer bird to every Lads night out.

· Answering EVERY question with a humorous reply.

· Sharing your teeth.

· Half and half ties

· Woolston

· Vegan Cows

· Home baked head phones

· Ordering a skinny latte from your chippy

· The new mullet.

· Using a scotch egg as a shinpad.

· Sertraline soup.

· Setting up a leggings factory in your attic.

· Unzipping carrots.

· Mad ginger bastards.

· Using patè to freshen your breath.

· Referring to footballers with double barrel names, by their initials only

· DCL

· Confusing Baroness Kate Hoey with Stan Boardman

· Going abroad on snowboarding holidays to get cold

· London Road

· Secretly warming to Gary Neville as a TV pundit

· Starting sentences with the words ‘I’m no expert but’ and then talking crap

· Turkish barber shops

· Bumping into Stan Collymore at dogging events

· Letting slip you drive an electric car

· Going paperless

· Rebecca Vardy

· Madonna’s daughters arm pits

· Having a drone

· Wearing no top in a beer garden whilst drinking pints of stella

· Referring to your bird as ‘er indoors’

· Richard Keyes

· Joining the neighbourhood WhatsApp group

· Displaying angst on social media about the conflicts in Syria / Ukraine

· Match snobs

· Skinny caramel legs

· Postcode baseball caps

· Applying logic.

· Hairy cheese.

· Entering the death Era.

· Missing your appointment at the chippy.

Satisfying The Bloodlust Of The Masses In Peacetime

Ins & Outs on 11:08 - Jul 22 with 396 views

franniesTache

Good to see Woolston in the outs, those of us ahead of the game only respect the pre-1920s boundaries.

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