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Reply | U's looking forward to a Big Mac this afternoon
at 18:31 27 Sep 2025
You wouldn't have to make more money available for players if you extended their contracts long enough so they can't turn it down? All you are spending is the next owners money?
I can't see another club after them any time soon, so how can anyone turn down a long contract? Reputations won't pay a deposit on your kids house, but a guaranteed income will. [Post edited 27 Sep 18:32]
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Reply | U's looking forward to a Big Mac this afternoon
at 18:15 27 Sep 2025
I wouldn't be surprised if the conversation went something along the lines of:
"You can shove your job if that's the budget and our top scorer has just been shafted, we are going to salvage our reputations before it's too late".
"Woo, hold on, how about a guaranteed wedge for the next x years, (that I won't be paying anyway because I'm off)".
"Oh, bollox, we can't turn that down".
WE know that most of what comes our way is BS. [Post edited 27 Sep 18:16]
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Reply | U's looking forward to a Big Mac this afternoon
at 17:34 27 Sep 2025
I don't disagree, but it's hard to make a silk purse out of a pigs ear. You can't keep letting players go every year and cutting budgets. There is only one common denominator to this 18 year shitshow.
Watching their goals is like a horror show. I feel sorry for Gordon, he looked like the only one that could give a shit at the end, but he ended up making a horlicks of it. At least he showed some passion. |
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Reply | U's looking forward to a Big Mac this afternoon
at 17:13 27 Sep 2025
At least Salop and 'nam are considerably worse than us.
Several players to come back from injury, and young players that will have the chance show what they can do, but we need experience on the pitch. |
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Reply | U's looking forward to a Big Mac this afternoon
at 17:02 27 Sep 2025
The one thing we had was that we were difficult to beat!
0-1 and 1-2 and we ship three in the second half??????????
P.S. At least Lyle only managed to score two goals this week, in their 1-2 win. |
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Reply | U's looking forward to a Big Mac this afternoon
at 15:02 27 Sep 2025
Some difficult games coming up in October, so 3 pts all the more important today.
Fleetwood have gone off the boil a little, so fingers crossed. [Post edited 27 Sep 15:02]
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Reply | It Could be You!!!!
at 10:20 27 Sep 2025
Update on the classy global hawking of our beloved.
There are rumours that the auction house that featured in ‘Taken’ has been identified as a suitable venue.
Hedge update: Still resembling the downstairs of a 70’s centrefold. |
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Reply | It Could be You!!!!
at 10:38 26 Sep 2025
Not exactly raining, but the hedge need cutting, so I'm trying to look busy, hoping to push it into next week. Recon if I make it to lunchtime, I'll get away with it.  |
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Thread | It Could be You!!!!
at 09:52 26 Sep 2025
Not wishing to lure anyone into the cesspit of gambling, but I believe tonight’s E@roM#ll#ons jackpot is £113M?
If you’re lucky you could have enough readies to meet Mr C’s valuation, pay Big M’s fees and still have enough left over for a celebratory takeaway down at North Station Road.
Worth remembering when you call in the Offy tonight for your four-pack of Stella and pack of tabs.
Just remember who your friends were!!!
Mine’s a Chicken Bhuna, Aloo Mutter and large Kingfisher.
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Reply | Ratners Fire Sale
at 13:11 25 Sep 2025
I’m not sure how accurate my sources are, but I have been told that Ponce Andrew might be trying to contact the club with some questions about the academy? Does anyone know if it’s just the men’s team it serves?
Apparently, Some of this chums are interested in investing and for a significant 'introduction fee', he can set something up.
Again, the proximity of Gatwick and hence also the Woking pizza emporium is a major plus. |
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Reply | Ratners Fire Sale
at 11:36 25 Sep 2025
Another one that’s been hooked by the inspired Gatwick angle. An Albanian arms dealer with a contract to supply the Andorran Navy with parachutes. Apparently his girlfriend lost her virginity in the South Terminal baggage reclaim.
P.S. Oh, I think the sun might be coming out at last. |
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Reply | Ratners Fire Sale
at 11:13 25 Sep 2025
Apparently, there’s a rocking horse manure salesman in Tasmania that’s particularly interested in the diversified revenue model. |
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Reply | Ratners Fire Sale
at 10:55 25 Sep 2025
Update from S@therb#s on the auction.
As global interest in the crown jewels of world football continues to rise, I have heard rumours that the leading bid so far, is 15’ 8” of string (used) and a scabby goat, from an Ethiopian snow shoe magnate, with a fetish for all things multifaceted (his brother is a baggage handler at Gatwick, so we could be on a winner here).
P.S. You would be correct in assuming that the weather hasn't improved over here. |
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Reply | Ratners Fire Sale
at 10:07 25 Sep 2025
At least it explains why I have to get 'stoned' to watch the U’s.
“Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya! Know what you're doing, doing to me! Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby”
“The rhinestone cowboys”
We’ve signed up for a bottomless pit of pisstaking.
What odds that it's a consortium of Ron Martin and David Sheepshags that puts in the highest bid? [Post edited 25 Sep 10:52]
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Thread | Ratners Fire Sale
at 07:33 25 Sep 2025
A Jewel of the EFL – The eternal gift to our rivals, we might as well save them the trouble:
“What am I bid for this Opal Corsa of the EFL”
“I see ‘Jewels’ Verne has a new book – Hawking the club around the world in 80 days”
“ Jade’d football club for sale”
“The Alf Garnet of the EFL”
This is too easy!
“….going the same way as Rushden and Diamonds”
“Blue and white Sierra Sapphire, one careless owner, sold for scrap”
“More like Jimmy Jewel of the EFL”
“The ‘pearl necklace’ of the EFL”
“The multifaceted cubic zirconia of the EFL”
“Oi, mate, your DoubleDiamond’s gone off”
“….going the same way as Opal Fruits”
“Last nights Ruby Murray of the EFL”
“The single mums drinking White Diamond in the park of the EFL”
“ I hear Jennifer Topaz is going to buy us”
“Just like the jewel, our No.9 has been flawed again”
Our club has become a comedy goldmine.
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Reply | Good Morning USA!
at 14:57 24 Sep 2025
Indeed, but it's worse than that, it says 'a multifaceted and diversified revenue model'
.... well if it's multifaceted, then... ...it will be diversified?
Talk about throwing in big words for the sake of it, just to make word salad bullshit.
Multifaceted and diversified revenue mode = as well as footy, we sell beer, shirts and have comedy nights, concerts, etc. ...........so much the same as every other league club?
Once, there was a charge for comedy nights, but now the jokes are posted on the website for free!
Bless them, I'd be bored without this, it's pissing down outside. |
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