| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 1076967 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:47 - Jun 14 with 10738 views | Esox_Lucius |
Why do the NHS make it so difficult to donate blood? What's with all the questions? "Where did you get this from?" "Why is it in a bucket?" |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:07 - Jun 14 with 10636 views | johann28 |
Having a clearout during the lockdown. Asked the neighbours if I could have a skip outside my house. They said go for it fatty you need the exercise. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 12:01 - Jun 15 with 10566 views | Esox_Lucius |
Just bought Cluedo "Swingers Edition"...
Turns out they all did it...
In every room with all the weapons. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:03 - Jun 17 with 10482 views | johann28 |
I got a chicken in to make the sandwiches. It didn't. All it did was run around and shit everywhere. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:37 - Jun 23 with 10352 views | Esox_Lucius |
Computer Program: choose a password
Me: Hi Hat
Computer Program: not acceptable your password cannot contain symbols. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:43 - Jun 23 with 10300 views | Boston |
I’ve just invented a new word.
Plagiarism. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:41 - Jun 23 with 10270 views | Esox_Lucius |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:43 - Jun 23 by Boston |
I’ve just invented a new word.
Plagiarism. |
That will probably replace "Gullible" now they have removed it from all dictionaries. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:07 - Jun 23 with 10171 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 15:41 - Jun 23 by Esox_Lucius |
That will probably replace "Gullible" now they have removed it from all dictionaries. |
Gullible’s still around on my travels. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:41 - Jun 24 with 10085 views | Esox_Lucius |
There was a frugal tradesman, a painter called Jack, who was very interested in making a buck or two where he could. So, he often would thin down his paint to make it go a bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time.
Eventually the Presbyterian Church decided to do a big restoration job on one of their biggest churches. Jack put in a painting bid and because his price was so competitive, he got the job. And so, he set to, with a right good will, erecting the trestles and putting up the planks, and buying the paint and... yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with the turpentine.
Well, Jack was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly done, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder. The sky opened, and the rain poured down, washing the thin paint from all over the church and knocking Jack far off the scaffold to land on the ground. Now, Jack was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he fell on his knees and cried, "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?"
From the thunder, an almighty voice spoke,
"Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!" | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:58 - Jun 26 with 10000 views | Boston |
Most people are shocked when they find out how bad an electrician I am. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 02:08 - Jun 26 with 9997 views | Boston |
So what if I don’t know what armageddon means, it’s not the end of the world. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:34 - Jun 26 with 9926 views | Esox_Lucius |
I have collected all the quotes from Bugs Bunny over the years. I have made them available on a WhatsApp Doc. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:14 - Jun 30 with 9803 views | loftboy |
I went to one of those faith healers the other day! What a load of rubbish, even the bloke in the wheelchair next to me stood up and walked out! |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:11 - Jul 1 with 9716 views | acricketer |
I got fitted for a neck brace several years ago and I've never looked back since. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:16 - Jul 1 with 9690 views | loftboy |
What’s got 200 legs and 3 teeth .........
The queue outside primark!! | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 07:17 - Jul 2 with 9640 views | loftboy |
My obese parrot died, it was a shame but a huge weight off my shoulders!! | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:42 - Jul 2 with 9599 views | Esox_Lucius |
The other day, an attendant stopped me in a hospital car park to tell me, "You can't park here. It's badge holders only."
I replied, "But I have a bad shoulder." | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:19 - Jul 3 with 9506 views | Esox_Lucius |
My neighbour just walked past with two dogs.
I said, "I didn't know you had any dogs."
She said, "They're not my dogs, they're my sister’s."
I said, "Wow, your sisters are really ugly." | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:22 - Jul 5 with 9380 views | Esox_Lucius |
I was sat today watching the game and reading my autobiography simultaneously when I accidentally glued my hands to the book. Well, that's my story and I am sticking to it. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:08 - Jul 5 with 9326 views | Boston |
I was down the bank on Friday when this old girl asked me to check her balance
So I pushed her over. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:10 - Jul 5 with 9323 views | Boston |
What's blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:23 - Jul 5 with 9308 views | horshamHoop |
I overdosed on Viagra recently
Hardest day of my life | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 23:08 - Jul 14 with 10076 views | johann28 |
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and mask together at the same time? You may be entitled to condensation. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 23:22 - Jul 14 with 10054 views | acricketer |
Due to my total obsession with Police interview techniques, my wife has told me that she’s leaving me.
For the benefit of the tape she left at 9.07 am | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:47 - Jul 17 with 9920 views | johann28 |
My wife knocked herself out sleepwalking. I had to call a somnambulance. | | | |
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