| Top 5 Viz Top Tips 22:58 - Aug 29 with 1128 views | SaintNick |
1.Make sure your nurse has good hearing when asking her to prick your boil.
2. If you you have recently bought an electric car and don't want to appear to be a pretentious, self righteous t**t, use a large felt tipped pen and draw a radiator grill on the front of your car. Also write "petrol" under the electric charging point.
3. If you are ever being chased by a police dog, never crawl through a polytunnel , run over a see-saw or jump through a ring of fire- they are trained for that.
4. They say that people are nicer and friendlier up North. Well I come from Portsmouth and I'm a right c***, so there may be some truth in it.
5. John Lennon: Please make your song titles less optimistic. I had a couple of fields which I used to cultivate strawberries. They only lasted a few weeks each.
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| Satisfying The Bloodlust Of The Masses In Peacetime |
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| Top 5 Viz Top Tips on 23:38 - Aug 29 with 1043 views | felly1 |
Deter trick or treaters this coming Halloween by painting "peado scum" on the front wall of your house. |  | | |
| Top 5 Viz Top Tips on 01:24 - Aug 30 with 956 views | TimSaint |
These triggered memories and reminded me of these old ones.....
Make people think you have a super hi-tech car alarm fitted, by making 3 high pitched beeping sounds after locking.
Lucy in the sky with diamonds. John Lennon may be a great lyricist, but he is crap at Cluedo. |  |
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| Top 5 Viz Top Tips on 10:44 - Aug 30 with 792 views | Ron11 |
'Ladies darts nights in pubs around the country could be improved by scrapping the usual game of 501 and just going straight for double one, which is where most games finish anyway. The time saved could then be spent drinking more heavily than usual and fighting in the car park'
'Has someone parked right outside your house? No problem, key his fu cking panels with 'Panel Keys (tm). He'll certainly think twice before he parks there again!' | | | |
| Top 5 Viz Top Tips on 20:52 - Aug 30 with 540 views | SonicBoom |
Pretend you have parking sensors by putting a pin on the back wall of your garage and a pin on your rear bumper... |  | | |
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