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Arse over head 19:44 - Apr 16 with 1793 views

Happened to me today in Boulogne. Took the wife and kids on a trip across the channel, and while attempting to pay for my street parking , I clumsily tripped up a grass verge and went flying off my feet and head first into the gutter between two parked cars. Smashed my bonce, twisted my glasses and grazed a hole in my knee. No one saw, so it was OK. Some local French chap did tap me on the shoulder to hand me my car keys that he'd found still in the road behind me. I turned around and he mumbled something French as I thanked him with my weeping forehead and clareted middle finger. My wife, oblivious to the whole event, was waiting in the car a few metres away, and after explaing the time it took to come back with a valid ticket, politely informed me (once shed stopped laughing), that I've now reached that age where I could, it I wanted to, class it as a fall. A terrible business.

Arse over head on 19:54 - Apr 16 with 1755 views

aston_hoop

A trip across the channel indeed

Poll:

Moses Odubajo - Stick or Twist?

Arse over head on 20:12 - Apr 16 with 1686 views

Rsole

And there I was offering you into the bath not so long ago….

if it helps, I had a similar challenge with a lawn mower recently and last night collided with a 200kg stag (deer not Triumph) in the car.

Stag survived and ran off - car is in the knackers yard, warming the bed.

Those possessed by devils, try and keep them under control a bit, can't you ?

Arse over head on 20:13 - Apr 16 with 1677 views

BklynRanger

I fall all the time mate, my orthopaedic surgeon tells me it's a sign of good character.

Just an example: Recently I walked all the way from home to O'Donoghues, sober as a judge, and decided to head in for one of their limited edition pre-game Guinnesses.

While crossing the road I managed to trip on the kerb and found myself hurtling forward at rapid speed toward a group of Irish Sheffield Utd supporters who helpfully parted so I could ground both hands onto whatever solid cement thing near the door stopped my fall.

This happens roughly every month one way or another. Today I smashed a lovely young woman in the face with a two way door. It was her or me probably.

Arse over head on 20:41 - Apr 16 with 1622 views

scot1963

Same here. I think I've told the tale on here before of leaving the fair and finding a stash of soft toys that someone must have won and didn't want just sitting there waiting to be claimed. Ran off with them, jokingly, across the road, tripped over a step and found myself hurtling towards the pavement at break neck speed with no chance of saving myself unless I threw the toys up in the air in a comedy style dive. They all landed on me so I couldn't be identified - I think. Last time I wore high heels - and they weren't even stilettos merely a high wedge - trip trapping down the main road turned a corner at the post office and blam I was splatted on the floor. I still don't know how it happened. Again I think I'd just got out of sight of the main road so blushes mainly spared and high heels abandoned for ever. I've done some pretty fancy footwork outside of Boots when it was raining and they had a slippy tile surface outside. Tried to save myself a few times but the footwork was just getting faster and faster until I fell into some young man's arms, thanked him for saving my life and walked off with what little dignity I could muster. The worst one was about five years ago when I forgot we had a metal rail at work where the gate went across as I was too busy waving to a couple of work colleagues, crashed over it, hit a manhole cover full on and broke bones all the way down the top right side - that one hurt but I managed to stop from face planting so that was a small mercy.

[Post edited 16 Apr 21:47]

Arse over head on 20:54 - Apr 16 with 1570 views

222gers

United we stand, drunk, we fall.

Arse over head on 21:29 - Apr 16 with 1446 views

ted_hendrix

Got out the car with a bag of shopping In each hand headed towards the door and went flat on me face, long story short, I was discharged from hospital at 4.30 the following morning with not to much damage done.
Four years later the Doctor rang me to go through my CAT scan results regarding another problem and She Informed whilst looking at my results that my broken rib bone had healed quite nicely, I haven't had a broken rib I mumbled, yes you have I'm looking at It right now.
I never knew but at the time of my fall I must have broken a rib then without knowing It, my left Knee was enormously swollen and looked broken according to the ambulance Ladies.

When I was a piss artist I used to fall over quite regularly, now i'm teetotal I tend to be more upright longer.

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

Arse over head on 22:03 - Apr 16 with 1353 views

colinallcars

Arse over head on 21:29 - Apr 16 by ted_hendrix

I don' wanna be a commercial artist,
I wanna be …a piss artist
I don' wanna be nouveau rich,
I'd rather live in… a ditch.

That Lord Byron was years ahead of his time.

Arse over head on 22:32 - Apr 16 with 1258 views

rrrspricey

Do it all the time too. I was diagnosed with Parkinson's a year or so ago and, among various other things, I have the propensity to lean forward when walking and end up like a big toddler that can't stop himself.

On a recent trip to New York then Dominican Republic, i stacked it 5 times.

Not good for walking, but considering taking up ski jumping

Arse over head on 03:18 - Apr 17 with 1086 views

numptydumpty

I sometimes stumble because my ankle weirdly gives way and I take a few deranged steps from side to side and i either manage to stay on my feet after my legs flay or i go a*se over t*t.

Anyhow last weekend on leaving Shepherd's Bush station at Westfield had a similar occurrence whilst attempting to traverse the street.

Now this is OK, in private or even in front of just one or two others, but these instances wait until ten thousand shoppers, football fans, tourists and locals all in full view !!!

And you carry on, like it didn't happen and nobody saw it happen....

[Post edited 17 Apr 3:19]

	Walking in a "Mackie Wonderland"
Poll:	Where will we finish next season ???

Arse over head on 08:32 - Apr 17 with 875 views

FredManRave

I thought this was going to be a sexual preferences thread.

Eze mistake.

Now I feel like a fool.

	I've got the Power.
Poll:	MOM from todays Teasing at Teesside?

Arse over head on 08:37 - Apr 17 with 862 views

hubble

I thought this was going to be a Champions League thread.

Eze mistake to make.

Poll:

Who is your player of the season?

Arse over head on 14:32 - Apr 17 with 647 views

R_from_afar

If it's any consolation, I once cycled into a parked car and knocked myself unconscious

My (pathetic) excuse is that I was cycling into a strong headwind, on the drops, with my head down. I felt such a fool as I lay there with blood pouring out of my head.

I did something even more daft in a kickabout at school. A schoolmate and I went up for a header and - look away now if you are squeamish - I headed his mouth.

It turns out that that is a pretty dozy thing to do. I ended up with a deep cut and blood pouring down my face but the other guy, I'm sorry to say, came off much worse: The impact snapped one of his front teeth clean in half. Yikes!

A teacher took us to A&E and while were waiting there, my mum walked in. I breezily said hello to her, at which point, she freaked out. She had come in for a dental appointment and was shocked to find me sat there grinning, clutching a blood-soaked handkerchief.

What am I like?

"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."

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