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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 1054359 viewsBoston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

3
Corny Joke Warning on 20:09 - Jan 26 with 9607 viewsSonofpugwash

In hospital tonight I walked past a ward where all the patients were avidly reciting Scottish poetry.

I think it must have been the Serious Burns unit.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

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Corny Joke Warning on 20:02 - Jan 29 with 9306 viewsSonofpugwash

Why did the Vegan cross the road?

To tell perfect strangers that he was a Vegan.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

4
Corny Joke Warning on 20:51 - Jan 31 with 9085 viewsSonofpugwash

https://scontent.fbrs4-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/423239930_765746835586961_2

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

0
Corny Joke Warning on 19:40 - Feb 4 with 8867 viewsloftboy

I went on a tour of HMS Victory. There was a brass plaque on a wooden block on the deck that said:" This is where Nelson fell." I'm not surprised I nearly tripped over it myself.

Nourry out
Poll: Who’s starting between the sticks v Preston?

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Corny Joke Warning on 21:04 - Feb 4 with 8806 viewsSonofpugwash

Weirdest thing happened at the bakery this morning.
A pie fell off the shelf, then another and another.

They were lemming meringue pies.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

2
Corny Joke Warning on 17:53 - Feb 7 with 8586 views81A

Went to see a Greek Eagles tribute act the other day. They played their hit song "Hotel Kefalonia"
3
Corny Joke Warning on 11:03 - Feb 9 with 8350 viewsSonofpugwash

Just come back from Asda. There was a group of teenagers outside like "excuse me Mr will you get us 20 Richmond, please, they wont serve us!" So I agreed to do it anyway, thinking thats my good deed done for the day.
Anyway Ive gone in and got them and when I handed them over they started effing and blinding at me! If that’s what good deeds get you with the young folk of today, They can get their own feckin sausages next time!!

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

5
Corny Joke Warning on 11:08 - Feb 9 with 8332 viewsEsox_Lucius

I dropped in to my local travel agent to book one of those 3 week Viking Cruises. £1500 and not a single stop for rape and pillaging along the way! I'm keeping my money.
[Post edited 9 Feb 2024 21:41]

The grass is always greener.

1
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Corny Joke Warning on 17:52 - Feb 11 with 8144 viewsEsox_Lucius

My wife just brought a kitten back from the rescue centre. We are going to call it Globe as it means the world to us.

The grass is always greener.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 18:44 - Feb 11 with 8090 viewsBoston

Corny Joke Warning on 17:52 - Feb 11 by Esox_Lucius

My wife just brought a kitten back from the rescue centre. We are going to call it Globe as it means the world to us.


Make sure you feed it right..mice crispies.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 20:23 - Feb 11 with 8041 viewsHantsR

Corny Joke Warning on 18:44 - Feb 11 by Boston

Make sure you feed it right..mice crispies.


...and treat it gently, just light mousework
0
Corny Joke Warning on 19:05 - Feb 12 with 7902 viewsqprphil

Looking for some advice. How many roses should I give my wife on Valentines Day,? 6, 12, or 24.? Or should I give her the whole tin.?
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Corny Joke Warning on 20:52 - Feb 12 with 7824 viewsLblock

Corny Joke Warning on 19:05 - Feb 12 by qprphil

Looking for some advice. How many roses should I give my wife on Valentines Day,? 6, 12, or 24.? Or should I give her the whole tin.?


Give her one

Who says romance is dead?

Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal

1
Corny Joke Warning on 17:45 - Feb 13 with 7595 viewsSonofpugwash

A man was shot with a starting pistol this afternoon.
Police say it might be race related.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

5
Corny Joke Warning on 20:05 - Feb 16 with 7395 viewsDorse

'Holmes! We have a case! It appears that Professor Fortesque-Smythe has been murdered by way of having 400 citrus fruits inserted into his corybungus. What do you think, Holmes? Can you solve it?'
'Indubitably. It's Lemon-Entry, my dear Watson...'

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

2
Corny Joke Warning on 20:30 - Feb 16 with 7362 viewsSonofpugwash

I've just landed a date with a lady who identifies as a wheelie bin.
Not sure whether I'm taking her out on Wednesday or Thursday.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

2
Corny Joke Warning on 19:35 - Feb 19 with 7169 viewsBoston

As my father told me.....

Money might not buy happiness,



But, poverty can't buy anything.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 19:50 - Feb 19 with 7133 viewsRebalhoop

I don’t know many jokes about Motown,only 2 or 3…….Four Tops
2
Corny Joke Warning on 03:02 - Feb 21 with 6850 viewsrbee

What do you call a lazy doctor?

Doctor Dolittle
0
Corny Joke Warning on 17:18 - Feb 21 with 6680 viewsEsox_Lucius

RSPCA: What the hell did you think you were doing releasing all those birds at your wedding?
My wife: But it is such a romantic thing to do.
RSPCA: Not when it is Ostriches.

The grass is always greener.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 17:50 - Feb 22 with 6499 viewsSonofpugwash

I love face painting but apparently you have to ask the subject's permission before you do it.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

0
Corny Joke Warning on 15:54 - Feb 24 with 6247 viewsrbee

How many corners do QPR need to actually score from one?
0
Corny Joke Warning on 18:37 - Feb 24 with 11509 viewsBoston

The President is visiting three states today...



Unconscious, barely conscious and confused.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

3
Corny Joke Warning on 10:53 - Feb 28 with 11243 viewshantssi

Did you know, dogs can’t operate MRI machines. But catscan!
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Corny Joke Warning on 13:42 - Feb 28 with 11162 viewsLblock

Corny Joke Warning on 10:53 - Feb 28 by hantssi

Did you know, dogs can’t operate MRI machines. But catscan!


Didn't know that

But you can get a Lab report

Only go for the catscan if you're feline sick

Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal

2
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