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Eze 20:07 - Apr 16 with 1459 viewsstowmarketrange

Eze misses penalty shocker.
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Eze on 20:12 - Apr 16 with 1423 viewsessextaxiboy

If I was a manager I would ban players for taking a pen like that
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Eze on 20:15 - Apr 16 with 1391 viewsjeffranger50

It was a pathetic penalty
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Eze on 20:16 - Apr 16 with 1381 viewsGaryBannister86

It's OK, Saka just did the same thing!
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Eze on 20:19 - Apr 16 with 1337 viewsBenny_the_Ball

That's what happens when you prepare for a match by spending the afternoon driving round the M25 in a yellow car.
[Post edited 16 Apr 20:32]
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Eze on 20:20 - Apr 16 with 1347 viewsNoelmc

So many keepers commit and make it easy for this type of penalty taker. If more acted like Pope, far more would be saved and this style would probably fade away.
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Eze on 20:23 - Apr 16 with 1309 viewsessextaxiboy

Palace getting tonked now
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Eze on 20:25 - Apr 16 with 1303 viewsGaryBannister86

Eze on 20:20 - Apr 16 by Noelmc

So many keepers commit and make it easy for this type of penalty taker. If more acted like Pope, far more would be saved and this style would probably fade away.


I hate goalkeepers guessing. If it was a shot from there in open play they wouldn't fling themselves in the opposite direction, they would react and try and save the bloomin' thing.

I can confirm I know more about this than any top goalkeeper or coach, as I once saved a penalty in the playground when I was 9 with this technique.
[Post edited 16 Apr 20:25]
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Eze on 20:26 - Apr 16 with 1289 viewsstowmarketrange

He did a similar thing for us at Hull a few years ago and luckily they came off both times.
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Eze on 20:31 - Apr 16 with 1255 viewskensalriser

That's trashed his value.

We'll be lucky to get (consults glossary) 2/6, a pair of tickets for Madame Tussauds and an out of date packet of crisps when he's sold now.

Poll: QPR to finish 7th or Brentford to drop out of the top 6?

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Eze on 20:44 - Apr 16 with 1189 viewsDaBurgh

Does this count as another Eze thread?

When you reach the place beyond thoughts, the only thing you'll find is love and the only purpose of life becomes to ease the suffering of others.

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Eze on 22:34 - Apr 16 with 894 viewsbosh67

Eze on 20:44 - Apr 16 by DaBurgh

Does this count as another Eze thread?


No, but has anyone started one?

Never knowingly right.
Poll: How long before new signings become quivering wrecks of the players they were?

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Eze on 22:38 - Apr 16 with 878 viewsGaryHaddock

Eze on 20:31 - Apr 16 by kensalriser

That's trashed his value.

We'll be lucky to get (consults glossary) 2/6, a pair of tickets for Madame Tussauds and an out of date packet of crisps when he's sold now.


Have you been to Madam Tussauds recently? Not cheap.
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Eze on 22:42 - Apr 16 with 856 viewskensalriser

Eze on 22:38 - Apr 16 by GaryHaddock

Have you been to Madam Tussauds recently? Not cheap.


I have never been and that's the joke - Londoners don't go, so the tickets are worthless to us. I know, not as funny when you have to explain it.

Poll: QPR to finish 7th or Brentford to drop out of the top 6?

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Eze on 22:52 - Apr 16 with 827 viewsGaryHaddock

Eze on 22:42 - Apr 16 by kensalriser

I have never been and that's the joke - Londoners don't go, so the tickets are worthless to us. I know, not as funny when you have to explain it.


I ruined your joke by trying make one of my own.
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Eze on 02:04 - Apr 17 with 647 viewsLazyFan

Pen takers like to knock it down the middle, as the stats show they are more likely to score. But if you look at the top pen takers who score the most, they hit them properly and hard.

So, the states are skewed by lots of bad penalty takers (lower league players), whereas the elite takers (remember these are all supposed to be elite footballers) smack them hard.

Ray Stewart of West Ham was the best. He used to just hammer them (geddit). Often, the keeper would know where he was going to put it, but he still could not stop it because it was hit so hard and fast.
Source: https://that1980ssportsblog.blogspot.com/2024/02/ray-stewart-penalty-king.html

And of course players like Shearer would smack 'em as well. If you hit them low and hard and the keeper fumbles it, it goes in anyway; if they save it, you have a great chance at the rebound as you are likly to be the first to that rebound.

But there is a catch: you have to be accurate when hitting it this hard, and not all players can do this, so you should only let the real pen takers take them.

How do we know?
Our very own Kevin Gallen has done the science.
Here are the results in this YouTube video:


Who should take QPR's pens in our current squad?
Well, Madsen is supposed to be a master at these. The problem is he has to be on the pitch running about (please no more, my ribs).

zzzzzzzzzz

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Eze on 02:37 - Apr 17 with 634 viewsnumptydumpty

Eze on 02:04 - Apr 17 by LazyFan

Pen takers like to knock it down the middle, as the stats show they are more likely to score. But if you look at the top pen takers who score the most, they hit them properly and hard.

So, the states are skewed by lots of bad penalty takers (lower league players), whereas the elite takers (remember these are all supposed to be elite footballers) smack them hard.

Ray Stewart of West Ham was the best. He used to just hammer them (geddit). Often, the keeper would know where he was going to put it, but he still could not stop it because it was hit so hard and fast.
Source: https://that1980ssportsblog.blogspot.com/2024/02/ray-stewart-penalty-king.html

And of course players like Shearer would smack 'em as well. If you hit them low and hard and the keeper fumbles it, it goes in anyway; if they save it, you have a great chance at the rebound as you are likly to be the first to that rebound.

But there is a catch: you have to be accurate when hitting it this hard, and not all players can do this, so you should only let the real pen takers take them.

How do we know?
Our very own Kevin Gallen has done the science.
Here are the results in this YouTube video:


Who should take QPR's pens in our current squad?
Well, Madsen is supposed to be a master at these. The problem is he has to be on the pitch running about (please no more, my ribs).


The penalty Madsen took for us, was belted in.

Celars attempt went into orbit and this season, Frey took one like Eze and hit it at a velocity of 0.12mph, directly at the goalkeeper.
[Post edited 17 Apr 2:38]

Walking in a "Mackie Wonderland"
Poll: Where will we finish next season ???

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