| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 1054313 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:32 - Jul 25 with 5250 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 07:22 - Jul 25 by MoonshineSteve |
I'd take that as a condiment. |
Well, Mr Kasparov does come over as a practitioner of safe sex. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:39 - Jul 26 with 5069 views | johann28 |
I told the doctor that everytime I walk from one country into another I have an overriding desire to get drunk.
He said I was borderline alcoholic |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 19:02 - Aug 2 with 4738 views | Boston |
In wine there is truth
In beer there is freedom
In water there is bacteria. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:37 - Aug 2 with 4585 views | colinallcars |
| Corny Joke Warning on 12:39 - Jul 26 by johann28 |
I told the doctor that everytime I walk from one country into another I have an overriding desire to get drunk.
He said I was borderline alcoholic |
My doc said “I hope you don't mind me saying so old boy, but you seem like the sort of chap that drinks rather a lot”.
I told him I had about 15 pints a day, half a bottle of whisky and a few stiff brandies before going to bed.
He said “my God, that'll never do - try having a bit more at weekends”. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:17 - Aug 2 with 4545 views | NewBee |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:37 - Aug 2 by colinallcars |
My doc said “I hope you don't mind me saying so old boy, but you seem like the sort of chap that drinks rather a lot”.
I told him I had about 15 pints a day, half a bottle of whisky and a few stiff brandies before going to bed.
He said “my God, that'll never do - try having a bit more at weekends”. |
Definition of an alcoholic: Someone who drinks more than his Doctor... | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 15:38 - Aug 3 with 4337 views | Boston |
Alcohol is a truly effective solvent.
It dissolves marriages, careers, wage packets... | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:55 - Aug 7 with 4011 views | colinallcars |
Still on the alcohol theme..
I said to the barkeep earlier “what's that Jewish song they sing at weddings ?”
“Hava nagila” he said.
“No thanks, I'll stick with me bitter” I replied. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:43 - Aug 11 with 3736 views | Esox_Lucius |
I met a lovely lady and after a few dates I thought she's the one. She invited me to stay over, and when I went into the bedroom I noticed that her wardrobe door was open. Iooked in and saw a French maid outfit, a policewoman outfit, a nurses outfit a playboy bunny outfit and thought, that's a real shame and left. It would never have worked if she couldn't even hold down a job for long. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:05 - Aug 20 with 3395 views | Boston |
Cowboys don't roll joint's y'know
They tumble weed. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:14 - Aug 20 with 3237 views | loftboy |
DID YOU KNOW
If you make a path out of French paintings, beetles will compulsively follow it.
Because Monet is the route of all weevil. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 02:05 - Aug 21 with 3061 views | Boston |
Whoever invented knock knock jokes deserves a no bell prize. [Post edited 21 Aug 2:06]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:50 - Aug 22 with 2795 views | Esox_Lucius |
Last night I had the strangest dream that Sir Galahad and Sir Lancelot got gold and silver in the 100 meters.
I say last night, it was actually two knights running. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:55 - Aug 24 with 2587 views | Ghostofleewallace |
| Corny Joke Warning on 10:50 - Aug 22 by Esox_Lucius |
Last night I had the strangest dream that Sir Galahad and Sir Lancelot got gold and silver in the 100 meters.
I say last night, it was actually two knights running. |
Cant believe I sat right through that 7-1 loss on Saturday til the end!!
A 7-1 pounding...now i know how Snow White felt!!!!😁 | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:42 - Aug 24 with 2516 views | Ghostofleewallace |
Mr Wong and Mrs Wong want to have a caucasian baby, but they can’t...why?
Because two wongs don’t make a white ! | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:42 - Aug 24 with 2516 views | loftboy |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:55 - Aug 24 by Ghostofleewallace |
Cant believe I sat right through that 7-1 loss on Saturday til the end!!
A 7-1 pounding...now i know how Snow White felt!!!!😁 |
Can’t believe someone has reported that as abuse. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:59 - Aug 24 with 2421 views | Ghost_on_the_Westway |
I was in the doctors and he says to me, “You really do need to stop masturbating”.
I said “Really? Why’s that?”
and he said, “Well, I’m trying to examine you”. |  |
| I need a SAGA. What’s the SAGA? It’s ….. Queen’s Park Rangers. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:27 - Aug 24 with 2366 views | FredManRave |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:42 - Aug 24 by loftboy |
Can’t believe someone has reported that as abuse. |
Welcome to 2025.
Somebody obviously got upset on Snow Whites behalf. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:39 - Aug 24 with 2303 views | Lblock |
I was looking to change career and considered qualifying in taxidermy
It’s a four year course
Stuff that |  |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:45 - Sep 4 with 1971 views | Esox_Lucius |
I think it is only now I can admit this in public. I snuck upstairs to the bedroom to watch Man Utd vs Grimsby whilst my wife watched her shows. About 20 mins into the game and I heard her coming up the stairs so I quickly pulled my pants around my ankles and switched channels to Porntube before she walked in on me. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:05 - Sep 5 with 1597 views | Lblock |
Not sure if I’ve done this one before but…..
Times are tough at the moment for lots of our community
A friend of mine is a dwarf
He’s finding it really hard to put food on the table…. | |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:19 - Sep 5 with 1531 views | Boston |
Y'now, one of the things I miss about London is the Boat Race.
It was oar some. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 06:34 - Sep 6 with 1419 views | Lblock |
A Chinese restaurant has complained about their electricity bill for £34,000 up from £9000 for the same period the previous year.
Apparently they have a fault in their system
They have explained that although they can't turn off the lights they do dim sum. | |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 08:17 - Sep 6 with 1378 views | Esox_Lucius |
I was invited to a live autopsy at a club, or so I thought. When I arrived it was an open mike night. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:31 - Sep 6 with 1351 views | johann28 |
| Corny Joke Warning on 23:19 - Sep 5 by Boston |
Y'now, one of the things I miss about London is the Boat Race.
It was oar some. |
To compete in the Oxford & Cambridge boat race, do you need a scholar-ship? | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:01 - Sep 6 with 1265 views | Esox_Lucius |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:31 - Sep 6 by johann28 |
To compete in the Oxford & Cambridge boat race, do you need a scholar-ship? |
A scull oar ship surely? | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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