| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 1073141 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 02:29 - May 22 with 7172 views | Boston |
Where does the Swedish marathon end?
The Finnish Line. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 02:09 - May 23 with 7003 views | Boston |
You've heard of a 'mockney', someone who pretends to be a Londoner? Well, they have the same lark in Stockholm where people turn up from around the globe and five minutes later lash it on that they're Scandinavians. Locals call 'em artificial Swedeners. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 02:18 - May 26 with 6785 views | Boston |
How d'ya spot a blind man at a nudist beach?
It's not hard. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 02:22 - May 26 with 6783 views | Boston |
Two old biddy's sitting on a park bench when a man wearing a raincoat walked by and flashed them.
One had a stroke.
The other couldn't quite reach. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:21 - May 26 with 6643 views | Ghost_on_the_Westway |
I went to the sperm bank and the nurse asked me to masturbate in the cup.
I said Well I’m quite good at it but not at a competitive level. |  |
| I need a SAGA. What’s the SAGA? It’s ….. Queen’s Park Rangers. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:35 - May 26 with 6533 views | Esox_Lucius |
I went to the doctors for chronic constipation. They prescribed me LSD. I was so surprised that I never thought to ask how LSD was supposed to cure my constipation. It all became clear when I shit myself as a fire breathing dragon jumped up from behind my sofa. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:46 - May 30 with 6240 views | Esox_Lucius |
I went to the doctor and told them I was in a lot of pain from a swollen and throbbing foot. He took a look then turned to me and said "gout"
"But, but, I've only just got here and you haven't told me what's wrong with my foot" | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:32 - Jun 1 with 5994 views | Lblock |
Saw a film all about sheep carrying out experiments and doing crazy formulas
Science of The Lambs is great |  |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:17 - Jun 4 with 5785 views | Lblock |
To whoever dumped a mattress in my front garden in the early hours of this morning I just want to say.
I don't know how you sleep at night | |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:19 - Jun 4 with 5780 views | Ghost_on_the_Westway |
I was sat on the end of the bed pulling my boxers off last night and my wife came in, shook her head and said, “You really spoil those dogs”. | |
| I need a SAGA. What’s the SAGA? It’s ….. Queen’s Park Rangers. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:45 - Jun 4 with 5732 views | DavieQPR |
Coming out the pub the other night and I saw a man in the car park kicking his car. I asked what was the matter and he said 'Piston broke'. I replied 'so am I, so am I'. { a golden oldie}. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 15:10 - Jun 4 with 5685 views | elnombre |
Tough set of opening fixtures for my Enya fans Rugby Club:
Sale (A)
Sale (A)
Sale (A) | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 10:27 - Jun 5 with 5519 views | hantssi |
I’ve got a mate who works for a BMW dealership and he’s just quit his job. He gave absolutely no indication that he was leaving. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 01:59 - Jun 7 with 5303 views | Boston |
When a deaf girl gives you a hand job
Is that oral? | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:37 - Jun 8 with 5012 views | hantssi |
ME. Doctor I keep buying boats. Cruisers. Sailing boats. Anything I can get my hands on
DR. I'm going to put you on a course of antibuyachtics. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:20 - Jun 9 with 4844 views | Esox_Lucius |
I was in the job centre and saw a job for a Brazilian waxers assistant. Duties included removing the clients underwear, preparing the area to be waxed by massaging warm oil into it and finally massaging and oiling the area after the waxing was completed.
I went to the desk and said I was interested in taking the job and they gave me an address in Cornwall to go to. I asked if that was where the job was and they said "No, that's where the back of the queue was". | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:37 - Jun 12 with 4546 views | Esox_Lucius |
Man Utd have turned down a £150m shirt sponsorship from a well known dog food company. The board felt that having WINALOT on their shirts was a pisstake. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:41 - Jun 12 with 4405 views | izlingtonhoop |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:37 - Jun 12 by Esox_Lucius |
Man Utd have turned down a £150m shirt sponsorship from a well known dog food company. The board felt that having WINALOT on their shirts was a pisstake. |
Errr
Something about England being sponsored by Green Flag in 1994 - just after they'd changed their name from National Breakdown...
How would that have looked on the training tops? |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 12:02 - Jun 13 with 4260 views | Toast_R |
About time we came up with some jokes about library books, they're long overdue |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 12:07 - Jun 13 with 4257 views | Esox_Lucius |
Thanks to Nigel Blackwell for this one...
I was in Knowsley zoo and I saw a chimpanzee with a banana in one hand and a tin opener in the other. I shouted over "you don't need a tin opener for a banana"
he snarled back "It's for the custard dickhead" | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:26 - Jun 14 with 4112 views | PlanetHonneywood |
Plans for the first joint Devon and Cornwall music festival have been shelved.
Organisers couldn't agree whether The Jam should go on first or the Cream. [Post edited 14 Jun 14:28]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:31 - Jun 15 with 3967 views | johann28 |
My online tutor has informed me that because of autocorrect, I don't need to bother about learning how to spell.
For this advice, I am eternally grapefruit. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 19:48 - Jun 16 with 3757 views | johann28 |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:17 - Jun 4 by Lblock |
To whoever dumped a mattress in my front garden in the early hours of this morning I just want to say.
I don't know how you sleep at night |
Yeah, and to that bastard who stole all my anti-depressants.
I hope you're happy. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:26 - Jun 21 with 3412 views | acricketer |
A woman with small boobs buys an old mirror from an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door.
The next morning, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror on my door, make my boobs size 44!"
There in a flash of light, her biobs grow to enormous proportions. She immediately runs down to her husband, and tells him the startling news.
They both go upstairs to the bathroom, and the husband crosses his fingers, and says,
"Mirror, mirror on my door, make my penis touch the floor!"
There's a flash of light, and both his legs fall off! | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:10 - Jun 26 with 3023 views | Esox_Lucius |
Our little girl came into our bedroom last night around midnight and asked "guess how old I am going to be next week?"
I reached for my glasses and said " how old sweetheart?"
She held up four fingers.
It's been eight hours so far and she still won't tell us where she got them. [Post edited 26 Jun 14:01]
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| The grass is always greener. |
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