| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 918823 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
| |  |
| Corny Joke Warning on 23:27 - Apr 21 with 3449 views | Boston |
Couple of years ago myself and a mate decided we'd like to get into the budget airline business.
Unfortunately, we couldn't get the company off the ground. | |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 12:22 - Apr 22 with 3295 views | johann28 |
| Corny Joke Warning on 23:27 - Apr 21 by Boston |
Couple of years ago myself and a mate decided we'd like to get into the budget airline business.
Unfortunately, we couldn't get the company off the ground. |
I sued the budget airline I flew with for losing my luggage.
Unfortunately, I lost my case. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:52 - Apr 22 with 3242 views | Andybrat |
| Corny Joke Warning on 12:22 - Apr 22 by johann28 |
I sued the budget airline I flew with for losing my luggage.
Unfortunately, I lost my case. |
What do u call a cow in the Antarctic?
An Eskimoo | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:55 - Apr 22 with 3155 views | izlingtonhoop |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:52 - Apr 22 by Andybrat |
What do u call a cow in the Antarctic?
An Eskimoo |
Now... |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:26 - Apr 23 with 2923 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:52 - Apr 22 by Andybrat |
What do u call a cow in the Antarctic?
An Eskimoo |
Freezeian? | |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 15:01 - Apr 25 with 2713 views | Boston |
When two vegans get in a row, are they still having a beef? | |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:39 - Apr 27 with 2444 views | Esox_Lucius |
As a singer I sing at many funerals & I was recently asked by a funeral director to play & sing at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery out in the country. As I was not familiar with the area, I got lost. I finally arrived an hour late and saw that the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I sang like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.
As I sang & played “Amazing Grace”, the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my keyboard and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I’ve never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.” Apparently, I’m still lost…. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 04:26 - Apr 28 with 2332 views | PlanetHonneywood |
I called my local gym about starting yoga. They asked me, 'How flexible are you?'
I replied, 'Well, I cant do Tuesdays and Fridays.'
Source: Bob Mortimer |  |
| |
Login to get fewer ads
| Corny Joke Warning on 06:33 - Apr 28 with 2288 views | cpgerber |
What would a typical "relegation from Championship"-clause look like in a player's contract?
I am very curious where this leaves Chris Willock, who left us for a bigger salary at Cardiff, but could now perhaps actually be earning less than at us after relegation. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 08:11 - Apr 28 with 2235 views | PlanetHonneywood |
| Corny Joke Warning on 06:33 - Apr 28 by cpgerber |
What would a typical "relegation from Championship"-clause look like in a player's contract?
I am very curious where this leaves Chris Willock, who left us for a bigger salary at Cardiff, but could now perhaps actually be earning less than at us after relegation. |
Well, I laughed! | |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:32 - Apr 28 with 2122 views | NewBee |
| Corny Joke Warning on 04:26 - Apr 28 by PlanetHonneywood |
I called my local gym about starting yoga. They asked me, 'How flexible are you?'
I replied, 'Well, I cant do Tuesdays and Fridays.'
Source: Bob Mortimer |
I saw this sign saying "Handy Man wanted", so I went in and asked.
The boss said: "Why do you think you could do the job?"
"Well I only live round the corner", I replied.
Source: Tommy Cooper | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:37 - May 2 with 1833 views | Esox_Lucius |
I was racking my brains trying to remember the name of the actress who was carried off by the wind as the Titanic was sinking.
Eventually I got it! Kite Winslett | |
| The grass is always greener. |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 18:07 - May 2 with 1786 views | loftboy |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:37 - May 2 by Esox_Lucius |
I was racking my brains trying to remember the name of the actress who was carried off by the wind as the Titanic was sinking.
Eventually I got it! Kite Winslett |
That’s not corny that’s just poor! |  |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:41 - May 9 with 1419 views | hantssi |
Apparently Indian fighter pilots dropped a 1000 onion bhajis and 500 pakoras on Pakistan.... they said and thats just for starters. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:59 - May 9 with 1368 views | stowmarketrange |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:41 - May 9 by hantssi |
Apparently Indian fighter pilots dropped a 1000 onion bhajis and 500 pakoras on Pakistan.... they said and thats just for starters. |
I was going to post that yesterday,but I thought everyone would’ve seen it by now. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:03 - May 9 with 1342 views | hantssi |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:59 - May 9 by stowmarketrange |
I was going to post that yesterday,but I thought everyone would’ve seen it by now. |
Yeah, when I got it, it said forwarded many times!! | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:23 - May 10 with 1102 views | Lblock |
Just got back from court where I’d been sentenced for stealing 3 calendars
The judge threatened me with 36 months but said I had to be back in front of him in 52 weeks after an assessment done on me
I told him it’s a date |  |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 01:25 - May 14 with 883 views | Boston |
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
"Damn". | |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 15:58 - May 14 with 686 views | DavieQPR |
I feel bad for parents nowadays. You have to be able to explain the birds and bees. The bees and bees. The birds and birds. The birds that used to be bees.The bees that used to be birds.The birds that look like bees. Plus bees that look like birds but still got a stinger. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 20:56 - May 14 with 595 views | loftboy |
Two Indian blokes have been admitted to hospital after mistakenly snorting curry powder instead of cocaine, ones in a Korma and the other has a dodgy Tikka | |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:01 - May 14 with 584 views | bosh67 |
My wife and I decided we didn't want children. We were happy with the decision but it was an awkward chat with the kids. [Post edited 14 May 21:01]
|  |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:33 - May 16 with 321 views | Esox_Lucius |
I told two Helium atoms my funniest joke.
Their response?
HeHe | |
| The grass is always greener. |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 20:55 - May 17 with 159 views | Boston |
Missionary rolls up in the African hinterland.
Tribal chief gives him permission to live in the village on the condition that no white babies suddenly start appearing.
Everything's going splendidly until a local woman gives birth to a pale skinned child.
The chief asks the missionary to explain the situation.
Looking out the window, the missionary points out a passing flock of sheep, and that although all the sheep are white, there is a lamb with black fleece.
A look of concern suddenly enters the chief's eyes, "look missionary, I'll say no more about the child if you stay stum about the lamb". | |
| |
| |
By continuing to use the site, you agree to our use of cookies and to abide by our Terms and Conditions.
