| Southampton General Hospital... 11:04 - Oct 10 with 1116 views | 1885_SFC |
14 hours in A&E overnight after getting covered in camouflage paint.
And I still haven't been seen.
* It's Friday, so sod off all of you... |  |
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| Southampton General Hospital... on 11:41 - Oct 10 with 1027 views | TripleNiemi |
My friend works as a road sweeper. I asked "What qualifications do you need for that job?"
He replies, "None, you just pick it up as you go along" |  |
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| Southampton General Hospital... on 12:58 - Oct 10 with 940 views | dirk_doone |
14 hours sounds about right. I was waiting that long with a severed artery. It was a bloody long wait. [Post edited 11 Oct 9:42]
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| Southampton General Hospital... on 13:02 - Oct 10 with 926 views | SonicBoom |
Just read a fascinating book about the history of glue.
I couldn't put it down. |  | | |
| Southampton General Hospital... on 13:06 - Oct 10 with 920 views | 1885_SFC |
Another question I've always pondered...
Do race horses slow down when they see police horses? | |
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| Southampton General Hospital... on 17:26 - Oct 10 with 759 views | LondonSaint76 |
| Southampton General Hospital... on 13:06 - Oct 10 by 1885_SFC |
Another question I've always pondered...
Do race horses slow down when they see police horses? |
Talking of race horses, a mate of mine nearly won the Grand National but ended up finishing third. On the run in he was hit on the head by a terrene of salmon, then by a side of ham, a jar of caviar, assorted pickles, two baguettes and finally by a bottle of champagne.
He was hampered in the final furlong… |  |
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| Southampton General Hospital... on 17:34 - Oct 10 with 756 views | InTimeAddedOn |
To the man on crutches dressed in military camouflage who stole my wallet
You can hide but you can’t run! |  | | |
| Southampton General Hospital... on 08:44 - Oct 11 with 460 views | City_boy |
My wife and I have just made a difficult and emotional decision that we don't want children.
If anyone does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow ! |  | | |
| Southampton General Hospital... on 10:35 - Oct 12 with 147 views | GRIM |
I went to the Doctor & told him that I keep thinking I'm invisible.
He said, sorry but I can't see you today.
I also said to him that I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains & he just said pull yourself together.
My mate went to same Doctor because he kept thinking he was a Billiard Ball & the Doctor told him to get on the end of the cue.
(Sad, but the old jokes are always the best). | | | |
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| Southampton General Hospital... on 17:13 - Oct 12 with 27 views | InTimeAddedOn |
| Southampton General Hospital... on 10:35 - Oct 12 by GRIM |
I went to the Doctor & told him that I keep thinking I'm invisible.
He said, sorry but I can't see you today.
I also said to him that I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains & he just said pull yourself together.
My mate went to same Doctor because he kept thinking he was a Billiard Ball & the Doctor told him to get on the end of the cue.
(Sad, but the old jokes are always the best). |
A few more old ones for you
My mate went to the doctor and said I keep thinking my c0ck is a steering wheel and it’s driving me nuts.
When I was young I wanted the game Operation for Christmas, I had to wait three years for it…
Every time my mate farted it sounded distinctly like a Honda moped. He went to the doctor who examined him and said you’ve got an abscess that’s causing the problem. My mate said OK, but why do I sound like a Honda moped? The doctor said it’s because of the old Chinese proverb - abscess makes the fart go Honda 😀 | | | |
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