| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) 09:47 - Jul 11 with 8710 views | thame_hoops |
SO I finally succumbed to the world of dating apps (I'm 44 and swore id never use one)
Ive been on an app called Bumble for a week now, the rules are the lady has to make first contact... had 2 'dates' so far, or as I called them 'initial meeting to suss each other out'
First was out Reading way for a lunchtime coffee, with a lady who was really into cricket BUT a total nightclub girl and a completely different personality to the messages we exchanged. In order to relate to me liking football, she Kept going on about how she goes out clubbing and EPL footballers are always buying her and her mates champagne in the VIP rooms.....
2nd 'date' was at a lovely pub friday night in Uxbridge (the Malt Shovel) I was a little bit catfished by her photos....id say the photos were 5 years old... again, nice girl, good job, after 2 wines she started crying and wouldn't stop talking about her 'toxic' ex ... when i got home she sent me a nice message apologising.
I think going forward the first 'dates' will be on the video chat feature on the app
anyone got any advice/funny stories so far?
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| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 10:21 - Jul 11 with 6498 views | Welsh_Ranger |
You might want to try Hinge aswell, its quite good! It depends at times how much baggage you can handle really, as noted by the 2nd date. Also probably plenty more options in and around the London area compared to little old Cardiff.
Only advice id offer is get that first date done quickly aslong as you are both comfortable the amount of times conversation stops as the person has found someone else to chat to. Internet dating can be massively fickle, just like real life tbh.
Best of luck |  | | |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 10:30 - Jul 11 with 6463 views | Juzzie |
Sounds like nothing has changed much when I gave it a go some 15+ years ago.
I tried to be honest in my profile (i.e. not putting down what I think they want to hear/see) and an up to date photo, unfiltered etc.
There was a caveat that after the first meet up, if either party didn't want to continue then that was it. No reasons needed, persistent contact thereafter not allowed etc.
Definitely a couple of catfish photos and profiles not quite matching how they portrayed themselves in person (maybe what we think of ourselves is different to how we actually are?).
I think I went on 4 or 5 but then stopped as each one was just a waste of time.
One girl turned up to the pub with her sister. Just to make sure I wasn't some kind of axe murderer.... in a pub.
OK, fine, no problem with that. Happy for the three of us to sit together then her sister goes once it's clear I'm not an axe murderer. So, I went to the bar to get three drinks and when I got back they were trying to chat up two blokes on the next table.
It was clear the blokes weren't interested and I know they had girlfriends 'cos I got to the pub early and they were talking about them. It seemed oblivious to the girls they weren't interested.
So, I sat there like a mug for about 20 minutes then once I finished my drink I got up and left and said the the main girl that I'm not surprised she's single if that's how she treats people and that I'm glad to find out then than possibly later.
The look on her face was a peach, completely oblivious to her own behavior.
Another one I went on she kept going on about this bloke she met a few days before and how she'd shagged him on his office desk. Yeah love, that's really interesting to me isn't it. Maybe I could have turned that around to be some kind of 'sure thing' but no, not really. I actually found it off putting.
Best of luck!
[Post edited 11 Jul 2022 16:14]
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| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 10:39 - Jul 11 with 6413 views | loftboy |
I met my mrs on match.com literally 3 weeks after my 1st marriage broke up!
Before I met her I travelled to Eastleigh one Saturday to meet a Woman I had been talking to on there, she looks quite “tidy” in her pics. When I met her I discovered her photo was at least ten years out of date, she looked like Zelda from terra hawks, I made my excuses and was in the next train back.
Been with my mrs for nearly 7 years now, been married for 1 and have a lovely home in Lowestoft.
She was living in Plaistow when we met hence why I moved there in 2017. |  |
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| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 10:41 - Jul 11 with 6406 views | DavieQPR |
For years I thought Screwfix was a dating site. |  | | |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 10:42 - Jul 11 with 6405 views | thame_hoops |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 10:21 - Jul 11 by Welsh_Ranger |
You might want to try Hinge aswell, its quite good! It depends at times how much baggage you can handle really, as noted by the 2nd date. Also probably plenty more options in and around the London area compared to little old Cardiff.
Only advice id offer is get that first date done quickly aslong as you are both comfortable the amount of times conversation stops as the person has found someone else to chat to. Internet dating can be massively fickle, just like real life tbh.
Best of luck |
aha yes, makes sense to get the first date done quick....I've had a couple of people ask me for a drink after just a small message exchange... this is why. then.. just when you're having nice chats...BOOM they disappear with no explanation.
Living in a small village isn't great, but when i travel into London i get more 'matches' Last Friday i had around 15... of maybe 3 were ok... an di think 2 messages me.... like throwing mud against a wall! | | | |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 10:44 - Jul 11 with 6389 views | thame_hoops |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 10:30 - Jul 11 by Juzzie |
Sounds like nothing has changed much when I gave it a go some 15+ years ago.
I tried to be honest in my profile (i.e. not putting down what I think they want to hear/see) and an up to date photo, unfiltered etc.
There was a caveat that after the first meet up, if either party didn't want to continue then that was it. No reasons needed, persistent contact thereafter not allowed etc.
Definitely a couple of catfish photos and profiles not quite matching how they portrayed themselves in person (maybe what we think of ourselves is different to how we actually are?).
I think I went on 4 or 5 but then stopped as each one was just a waste of time.
One girl turned up to the pub with her sister. Just to make sure I wasn't some kind of axe murderer.... in a pub.
OK, fine, no problem with that. Happy for the three of us to sit together then her sister goes once it's clear I'm not an axe murderer. So, I went to the bar to get three drinks and when I got back they were trying to chat up two blokes on the next table.
It was clear the blokes weren't interested and I know they had girlfriends 'cos I got to the pub early and they were talking about them. It seemed oblivious to the girls they weren't interested.
So, I sat there like a mug for about 20 minutes then once I finished my drink I got up and left and said the the main girl that I'm not surprised she's single if that's how she treats people and that I'm glad to find out then than possibly later.
The look on her face was a peach, completely oblivious to her own behavior.
Another one I went on she kept going on about this bloke she met a few days before and how she'd shagged him on his office desk. Yeah love, that's really interesting to me isn't it. Maybe I could have turned that around to be some kind of 'sure thing' but no, not really. I actually found it off putting.
Best of luck!
[Post edited 11 Jul 2022 16:14]
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oh eek, not good!
I try and spot filtered photos a mile off... the stupid face smoothing things irritates me.
also, I'm avoiding 'Instagram girls' their photos are all the same... 'Standing in front of the Eiffel tower with back to camera' 'standing up against a wall with painted angel wings' haha | | | |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 10:59 - Jul 11 with 6320 views | thame_hoops |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 10:39 - Jul 11 by loftboy |
I met my mrs on match.com literally 3 weeks after my 1st marriage broke up!
Before I met her I travelled to Eastleigh one Saturday to meet a Woman I had been talking to on there, she looks quite “tidy” in her pics. When I met her I discovered her photo was at least ten years out of date, she looked like Zelda from terra hawks, I made my excuses and was in the next train back.
Been with my mrs for nearly 7 years now, been married for 1 and have a lovely home in Lowestoft.
She was living in Plaistow when we met hence why I moved there in 2017. |
I think I remember when you split form you wife, didn't she take you for a ride with medical costs or something? sorry if I've got that wrong | | | |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 11:33 - Jul 11 with 6206 views | 1MoreBrightonR |
I think, as a man, i was always an optimist on the photos...ie if there were 3 were she didn't look great, and 1 good one, i'd go for it and then realise the 3 was the reality....so my advice is to go with probabilities on the photos!
Also agree its good to get the date out of the way quite early in the chat...often the people I got along best with and chatted to most were the most disappointing dates. You've both created too much of a picture in your head of the other person and their personality, so it's a let down.
i was younger (early 30s) when I did it and just out of a long relationship but I loved it at the time. you cant take it seriously...its very easy come easy go and you cant get offended if someone goes quiet on you (they could be talking/dating multiple people at the very start), but once you get used to that, it's pretty fun. [Post edited 11 Jul 2022 11:35]
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| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 11:38 - Jul 11 with 6166 views | loftboy |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 10:59 - Jul 11 by thame_hoops |
I think I remember when you split form you wife, didn't she take you for a ride with medical costs or something? sorry if I've got that wrong |
Yep pretty much so. Paid 5 grand for a tummy tuck in Poland then met some bloke on the internet and the rest as they say is history.
We now probably get on better then we did when we were married, I see my kids regularly and the bloke she went off with ,( they are now married) is actually quite a nice bloke and always makes me welcome when I go up north to visit. | |
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| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 15:46 - Jul 8 with 3213 views | Wease1 |
Is there any chance use dating app in 2025? | | | |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 16:14 - Jul 8 with 3105 views | dannyblue |
I really enjoyed the apps for a couple years after I broke up with the mother of my children. I was like a kid in a candy shop. Much simpler to speak with people who want to date who like your pictures than having to chat people up in bars who might not be available, in the mood to flirt, or even be remotely interested.
I learnt this (much of which is obvious):
It is a numbers game. The more people you match, talk to, meet, the more likely you are to meet someone you really like who likes you back.
Just being polite, respectful, and being able to hold a conversation is a massive plus. There are a lot of weirdos out there and women are rightly a bit cautious.
Don't pretend to be what you're not. Pointless if they like what you're pretending to be. Just be yourself and if they like that you've got a chance.
When you're chatting with someone, keep it going, and move to that first date as quickly as you can. It can be fickle, and time kills deals.
I would often send a quick candid video of myself blathering about something I was doing - cooking, walking back from QPR, whatever - so they could get an impression of me. The implication would be that they would return one and often they would. If they did not, I would request one. Lots are quite uncomfortable with it. But the sensible ones come around when you point out it's much better to share a quick video note than go through all the effort and nerves of a first date and both run the risk of instantly being disappointed. And it weeds out the catfish.
It's worth setting up the first date as just one no-pressure drink with both of you having a plausible plan of what you're doing next (e.g., lets have a quick drink before I go and join my friends for dinner). Often one of you or both will know almost immediately if you're not into each other...so why get trapped in a situation that's awkard for you both? Then after your drink you can just say "That was great, I'd like to do it again, lets have dinner next week". Or simply "You're great, but I just didn't feel the spark. Good luck". And if it goes really well you can bin your alternative plans.
It's scarier and more dangerous for women to go on a first date. So I think the man should at least always buy that first drink. After that it's up to you both how you organise things.
The apps are very different. Tinder is very international and a bit more of a hookup site. Hinge is more serious, and can be a bit like a job interview. Bumble is fine, but don't believe that 'women take the lead' spiel...they say hi, and then the man still leads the conversation 99/100. Feeld is a lot of fun for those who like that kind of thing.
Have fun! [Post edited 8 Jul 16:19]
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| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 17:09 - Jul 8 with 2929 views | numptydumpty |
I did try online dating and speed dating events 15 to 20 years ago.
Speed dating was an absolute nightmare. 15 three minute interviews where the blokes probably tick 14 out of 15 and the women might pick one out of fifteen but the whole circle was stressful and ridiculous.
Had about four blind dates through online stuff.
One woman was probably twenty years older than her photo. I thought of turning around and walking out straight away but went through the charade of a couple of drinks which didnt help either me or her.
Fools paradise to doctor pictures but should think now its very common.
Was lucky to meet the right person just by getting out and about a bit more.
One of my friends, the third woman he met has been his wife for the last twenty years so it can happen.
Although another friend has been dabbling with this for 20 years and apart from one six month acquaintance has got nowhere.
Its a frustrating process though and in my eyes its all about getting the date but a lot of people seem to wish to talk online for very prolonged periods which I have no understanding why you would wish to do that.
Good luck in your quest.
Showing me up here but one friend ways asked me to send him a text half way through and if it wasn't going well, he had some made up excuse to go home. |  |
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| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 17:39 - Jul 8 with 2850 views | HAMRanger |
I used Match about 3 years ago and regretting not doing it earlier. (never been on a dating site before or since) It was great fun. Quite a few of the women I talked to wanted to Facetime me before meeting, so no surprises on the date. |  | | |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 17:46 - Jul 8 with 2819 views | Sonic_Hoop |
Is this not a dating site then? That would explain the rather curt replies I've been getting from my PMs. |  | | |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 18:02 - Jul 8 with 2771 views | DaBurgh |
Tell them you're not interested until they send a photo holding the day's newspaper in front of them.
You can also get a good idea of thier personality by which rag they are holding.
Might save time/money by no first date. |  |
| When you reach the place beyond thoughts, the only thing you'll find is love and the only purpose of life becomes to ease the suffering of others.
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| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 18:16 - Jul 8 with 2725 views | Boston |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 18:02 - Jul 8 by DaBurgh |
Tell them you're not interested until they send a photo holding the day's newspaper in front of them.
You can also get a good idea of thier personality by which rag they are holding.
Might save time/money by no first date. |
What's a newspaper, luv? | |
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| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 18:22 - Jul 8 with 2710 views | dannyblue |
The first woman I met from Tinder (bearing in mind I'd been in a relationship for 13 years and never had an app date before). She looked ok, but 50% bigger and 25% older than her pictures. I thought what's the point of doing that. When she made it very clear that she lived nearby, and that I was welcome to visit when we finished our drinks, I realised her strategy. She was an opportunistic predator relying on the male reluctance to say no. I stayed strong. Be careful out there. | | | |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 18:28 - Jul 8 with 2681 views | Lblock |
I avoid it in case I meet my crazy ex on one.
She lives in Uxbridge, frequents a lot of the pubs round there on a Friday night -- always on the pi$$ and when she gets drunk (as she does quickly) she starts making things up about me not being a very nice fella.
She's a lying thief who uses photos a decade out of date and hides in your garden if you don't respond to her.
Good luck in your quest for coupledom |  |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 18:29 - Jul 8 with 2680 views | Beckenhamhoop |
Not as a result of a dating app and its a long story but due to a misunderstanding I once went on a date with a woman I had absolutely no intention to go on a date with. I didn’t realise the error until we met up. As I’m so polite and considerate I went on the date rather than explain the error and disappoint her (I’m a stunner!) . She was a good 10 years older than me, not attractive and had a large hole on the toe of her black tights! It was the longest night of my life as I was petrified someone I know was going to see me with this woman.
I did get to go out with the girl I should have gone out with originally. | | | |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 18:30 - Jul 8 with 2678 views | Guppy22 |
I broke up from my ex wife 3 and half years ago and ended up on the sites, actually preferred bumble as the woman I met generally looked like their pictures. Met my current girlfriend on their 11 months ago, she actually looked much better than her pictures and apart from her son supporting the scum there isn’t much wrong with her | | | |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 18:38 - Jul 8 with 2626 views | ed_83 |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 16:14 - Jul 8 by dannyblue |
I really enjoyed the apps for a couple years after I broke up with the mother of my children. I was like a kid in a candy shop. Much simpler to speak with people who want to date who like your pictures than having to chat people up in bars who might not be available, in the mood to flirt, or even be remotely interested.
I learnt this (much of which is obvious):
It is a numbers game. The more people you match, talk to, meet, the more likely you are to meet someone you really like who likes you back.
Just being polite, respectful, and being able to hold a conversation is a massive plus. There are a lot of weirdos out there and women are rightly a bit cautious.
Don't pretend to be what you're not. Pointless if they like what you're pretending to be. Just be yourself and if they like that you've got a chance.
When you're chatting with someone, keep it going, and move to that first date as quickly as you can. It can be fickle, and time kills deals.
I would often send a quick candid video of myself blathering about something I was doing - cooking, walking back from QPR, whatever - so they could get an impression of me. The implication would be that they would return one and often they would. If they did not, I would request one. Lots are quite uncomfortable with it. But the sensible ones come around when you point out it's much better to share a quick video note than go through all the effort and nerves of a first date and both run the risk of instantly being disappointed. And it weeds out the catfish.
It's worth setting up the first date as just one no-pressure drink with both of you having a plausible plan of what you're doing next (e.g., lets have a quick drink before I go and join my friends for dinner). Often one of you or both will know almost immediately if you're not into each other...so why get trapped in a situation that's awkard for you both? Then after your drink you can just say "That was great, I'd like to do it again, lets have dinner next week". Or simply "You're great, but I just didn't feel the spark. Good luck". And if it goes really well you can bin your alternative plans.
It's scarier and more dangerous for women to go on a first date. So I think the man should at least always buy that first drink. After that it's up to you both how you organise things.
The apps are very different. Tinder is very international and a bit more of a hookup site. Hinge is more serious, and can be a bit like a job interview. Bumble is fine, but don't believe that 'women take the lead' spiel...they say hi, and then the man still leads the conversation 99/100. Feeld is a lot of fun for those who like that kind of thing.
Have fun! [Post edited 8 Jul 16:19]
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Brilliant advice in here, agree with everything you’ve said. Thame_hoops, listen to this guy!
I went on the apps for the first time in my mid 30s, having been in a long-term relationship since before they really became a thing, and have generally had a really good experience with them.
I think as long as you throw yourself into it in the right spirit (would particularly echo the numbers game point, being respectful and also just having fun with it, approaching things positively rather than expecting them to fail) then they can be a really positive thing - they certainly were for me! | | | |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 19:30 - Jul 8 with 2505 views | padstow |
Oh FFS! (IYKYK)
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| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 20:00 - Jul 8 with 2395 views | bosh67 |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 10:41 - Jul 11 by DavieQPR |
For years I thought Screwfix was a dating site. |
To be fair I thought B&Q was some kind of sadomasochistic abbreviation... It was a pretty rubbish safe word. |  |
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| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 20:25 - Jul 8 with 2323 views | CincyHoop |
I met my wife on Hinge. As people have said, if you are true to yourself and patient enough to go on a couple of "dates" or "first impressions" that might not work, you might find that its "easier" to find your partner though an app than any other way that your parents or grandparents might have done. | | | |
| Online Dating Apps (*NON QPR) on 21:55 - Jul 8 with 2147 views | colinallcars |
I had no idea so many use these apps.
Trouble is you don't get to use your chat up lines.
I used to say - 'ello darlin' fancy goin' up to the bar ?
Always worked. |  | | |
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