| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 01:12 - Mar 31 with 4476 views | CLAREMAN1995 |
Superb writing again not sure I should be laughing or crying but we are serving up some pretty horrible slop at the moment and it might actually continue .
"this was Morgan Fox's best game for Stoke and he played there for 3 years " is beautiful but really depressing .
Not sure how the fans pay hard earned money to follow this team its pretty demoralizing right now we online fans salute you |  | |  |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 01:22 - Mar 31 with 4462 views | VancouverHoop |
"Victories feel like passing a kidney stone the size and shape of a stegosaurus through the sort of penis you usually find attached to Leeds United’s YouTubers."
Pulitzer level stuff sir. I'd salute you if I wasn't holding my sides! |  | | |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 04:41 - Mar 31 with 4301 views | eastside_r |
Middlesbrough was very bad and this somehow contrived to be worse. Both competing with Swansea for our most inept away performance. The sojourn in South Wales on Boxing Day still just shades it for me but this really ran it close.
Can I also chuck in being searched twice by two stewards standing approx. 1 metre apart, WTF was that about?
Hope you get your tooth sorted. [Post edited 31 Mar 8:29]
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| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 06:19 - Mar 31 with 4208 views | SimplyNico |
We are back to where we were against Middlesbrough at home. This is dire. And as you say Clive, it comes back to recruitment. | | | |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 07:02 - Mar 31 with 4114 views | Rsole |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 01:22 - Mar 31 by VancouverHoop |
"Victories feel like passing a kidney stone the size and shape of a stegosaurus through the sort of penis you usually find attached to Leeds United’s YouTubers."
Pulitzer level stuff sir. I'd salute you if I wasn't holding my sides! |
I had the exact same issue but my chode coped reasonably well with it for a change.
Thanks Clive, I’m not sure I could apply as much humour and quality of writing to that report.
Thanks for putting it together. |  |
| Those possessed by devils, try and keep them under control a bit, can't you ?
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| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 07:10 - Mar 31 with 4090 views | Malintabuk |
Superb writing again as always.
I was guilty of a "rant" on the Marti After match thread and even now on the Monday after the game I'm not too pleased.
Those Madsen stats just defies any comment really, but to call yourself "professional" in disgraceful
I do understand that a player will never be committed or even as passionate about our club as us fans, but there must surely be some passion there. To be a professional footballer I would assume it takes great passion, alot if hard work and dedication. And the lack of that shown on Saturday is what rankles me
I was never blessed with great skills at football, but I played a decent standard, in fact the biggest compliment I ever got was from South East School boys coach, "You can't play football son, but by god you can stop those who can"
Clive summed us up perfectly with those season stats... and those stats eminate from the top of the club.
I'm never normally depressed after reading Clive, but that has made me depressed today. Where on earth are we going as a club. | | | |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 07:18 - Mar 31 with 4071 views | YorkRanger |
Superb writing.
Spent a very pleasant pre match with a stoke supporting colleague of my daughter and four elderly members of his family/friends. Even saw Nick Hancock (remember him) in a Stoke pub.
Proper nice football people, season ticket holders for years, one elderly chap's first game was when Stanley Matthews returned to the club and we all smiled about their only Wembley cup victory (ignoring auto windscreens) when they beat Chelsea in 1972.
The main point here is they spent most of the couple of hours with them telling me how crap Stoke were, can't win for toffee, a team of disinterested loan and out of contract players, can't buy a win, how they knew people who had been season ticket holders for 40 years and had finally bailed out as they couldn't take anymore, couldn't see where the next point was coming from.
Having told them of our own fragility at 2pm I saw the team news and said "you know what gents I think you will be OK today"
Even then I cannot believe what I watched from 2pm. The first half was up there with one of the worst I have seen.
Painful and depressing. |  | | |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 08:24 - Mar 31 with 3840 views | Watford_Ranger |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 04:41 - Mar 31 by eastside_r |
Middlesbrough was very bad and this somehow contrived to be worse. Both competing with Swansea for our most inept away performance. The sojourn in South Wales on Boxing Day still just shades it for me but this really ran it close.
Can I also chuck in being searched twice by two stewards standing approx. 1 metre apart, WTF was that about?
Hope you get your tooth sorted. [Post edited 31 Mar 8:29]
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Having witnessed that Boro game in the flesh I thought that was as poor as this lot could play. Didn’t bother Saturday and I’m glad what I saw online is more than backed up by those there. Absolutely cooked almost all of them. Cardiff could be very ugly especially if Derby win midweek which looks probable. | | | |
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| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 08:28 - Mar 31 with 3804 views | BrianMcCarthy |
Thanks Clive.
Hard job to write about that. |  |
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| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 08:35 - Mar 31 with 3748 views | thehat |
Thanks for the report Clive - I feel your frustration. Thankfully I sat this one out again and went to watch my local non league team. At least you see players fully committed playing at a high intensity all for their match fee of circa £80 per player.
After going to Derby, Leeds, Millwall and Leicester this season I just can't justify the expensive awayday cost of watching this shower. My poor brother and daughter did make the effort though and both reported the same as you.
They should pin up this report in the training ground today and make every player read it. Mind you they probably wouldn't give a toss about it anyway.
There are some real bad eggs playing in the professional game. Marti is right though Saturday's game against Cardiff is massive. | | | |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 08:48 - Mar 31 with 3687 views | TheChef |
Cheers Clive - like many of us I'm sure you can't wait for the end of the season (and hope your wisdom tooth gets sorted).
I couldn't work out why the manager went away from the Edwards and Colback combo in midfield that had worked so well against Leeds. If Morrison is fit then why can't he start matches? Mystifying. But then as you say, in a division which requires physicality and hard running, having recruited a bunch of fancy-dan diddymen it's no surprise we struggle to compete in most matches. Only upside from Saturday for me was winning some money by predicting the correct scoreline!
Here's hoping the manager and players can sort themselves out for Saturday for yet another "must win" game (YAWN). |  |
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| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 08:57 - Mar 31 with 3629 views | Paddyhoops |
All our consistent performers are out injured and that back four won’t be there next season .
It’s a recipe for disaster and so it proved .
It’s a death spiral and we need to be shocked into life on Saturday. | | | |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 09:00 - Mar 31 with 3615 views | Rsole |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 07:10 - Mar 31 by Malintabuk |
Superb writing again as always.
I was guilty of a "rant" on the Marti After match thread and even now on the Monday after the game I'm not too pleased.
Those Madsen stats just defies any comment really, but to call yourself "professional" in disgraceful
I do understand that a player will never be committed or even as passionate about our club as us fans, but there must surely be some passion there. To be a professional footballer I would assume it takes great passion, alot if hard work and dedication. And the lack of that shown on Saturday is what rankles me
I was never blessed with great skills at football, but I played a decent standard, in fact the biggest compliment I ever got was from South East School boys coach, "You can't play football son, but by god you can stop those who can"
Clive summed us up perfectly with those season stats... and those stats eminate from the top of the club.
I'm never normally depressed after reading Clive, but that has made me depressed today. Where on earth are we going as a club. |
Can you imagine what Madsen and Andersen’s GPS readings show…I don’t know about passion in today’s game but I would have thought that basic embarrassment in front of your teammates and peers must be a motivator of sorts.
If you were the captain and you saw that your teammate was only putting in 50% effort visually you’d bollock them on the pitch. What would you say/do if you had the facts after the match ?
Maybe in the post game review/drains-up the performance staff look at this numbers, compare them and recommend some improvements - or maybe they don’t. I’d be tempted to put the data on a very large whiteboard and share it with everyone - just leave it hanging there and see what happens next.
Perhaps the recruitment team will be held accountable for their decisions when the same data is analysed or maybe they video the players and use AI to analyse their efforts and contributions - it’s quite straightforward these days to do that if you claim to be data driven.
Someone recently commented that we have to play Madsen if we want to sell/loan him and another posted that unfortunately each time he plays his value decreases.
I have to agree with the latter - especially if anyone is applying the same rationale to taking him off our hands. | |
| Those possessed by devils, try and keep them under control a bit, can't you ?
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| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 09:01 - Mar 31 with 3606 views | stevec |
From your first word to last, absolutely spot on.
As I’ve mentioned before and had it knocked straight back it me, whether we like it or not, this club only functions on the pitch, albeit reluctantly, when a relative tyrant is running the whole show.
We’ve seen Bernie Eccleston, nobody much liked him, we moved forward. Many of us saw Jim Gregory, again a lot at the time didn’t like him, we had our most prolonged period of success this club had ever seen.
We have always attracted renegades, waifs and strays. They need to be led by the nose.
Any owners at this place, who try to be even in the slightest bit reasonable, will get walked all over. |  | | |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 09:06 - Mar 31 with 3590 views | Northernr |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 09:00 - Mar 31 by Rsole |
Can you imagine what Madsen and Andersen’s GPS readings show…I don’t know about passion in today’s game but I would have thought that basic embarrassment in front of your teammates and peers must be a motivator of sorts.
If you were the captain and you saw that your teammate was only putting in 50% effort visually you’d bollock them on the pitch. What would you say/do if you had the facts after the match ?
Maybe in the post game review/drains-up the performance staff look at this numbers, compare them and recommend some improvements - or maybe they don’t. I’d be tempted to put the data on a very large whiteboard and share it with everyone - just leave it hanging there and see what happens next.
Perhaps the recruitment team will be held accountable for their decisions when the same data is analysed or maybe they video the players and use AI to analyse their efforts and contributions - it’s quite straightforward these days to do that if you claim to be data driven.
Someone recently commented that we have to play Madsen if we want to sell/loan him and another posted that unfortunately each time he plays his value decreases.
I have to agree with the latter - especially if anyone is applying the same rationale to taking him off our hands. |
Yeh, if you're selling a boat with a hole in it DON'T sell it on the river. |  | | |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 09:13 - Mar 31 with 3559 views | Dorse |
On Madsen, watching the match I was, well not shocked exactly, but pretty astonished with his lack of any discernible contribution. I thought it was just me or that the stream didn't give the full picture.
And then someone posted those stats. They are going to take some beating. This guy is supposed to be an upgrade on, say, Luke Amos or Andre Dozzell. Right now, he makes Dozzell look like Zidane. Have we checked him for a pulse? |  |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 09:44 - Mar 31 with 3351 views | Hunterhoop |
I’ve said it before, if you take Sam Field and Steve Cook out of this team you take out the bollocks, physicality and standards.
You cannot underestimate the importance of those things. We need more players of that ilk not fewer. They are the foundation upon which you build the house of fancy, soft, ballers. You earn the right to play football; they earn it for you.
Our recruitment last summer was naive. We cannot take that same approach again. We shouldn’t be re-signing Cook on his current salary level, but we must either re-sign him on a lower figure or sign some other experienced leader.
Colback needs replacing, not by some 24yr old Norwegian playing in Latvia, but by someone 5-6 years younger who is a better character, whose legs haven’t gone, who is experienced in this league.
I’d renew Frey because when he’s on the pitch we are rarely bullied. However, next season should be him, Celar, Kelman AND AN Other. That player again, needs to be physical and with experience of this level. That way you have two similar styled players in Kelman and Celar, and 2 similar styles in Frey and this fella. Gives us two ways of playing with back ups up top for both approaches. Lloyd needs a loan. Kolli is not a number 9. He should play in one of the wide attacking areas.
The approach this summer must be different. If it’s not, and we lose some of our more experienced pros, it’ll be a horrible season.
By my count we need 6-10 new players depending on whether Cook, Frey, Dunne renew and Saito signs. |  | | |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 09:46 - Mar 31 with 3332 views | TheChef |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 09:44 - Mar 31 by Hunterhoop |
I’ve said it before, if you take Sam Field and Steve Cook out of this team you take out the bollocks, physicality and standards.
You cannot underestimate the importance of those things. We need more players of that ilk not fewer. They are the foundation upon which you build the house of fancy, soft, ballers. You earn the right to play football; they earn it for you.
Our recruitment last summer was naive. We cannot take that same approach again. We shouldn’t be re-signing Cook on his current salary level, but we must either re-sign him on a lower figure or sign some other experienced leader.
Colback needs replacing, not by some 24yr old Norwegian playing in Latvia, but by someone 5-6 years younger who is a better character, whose legs haven’t gone, who is experienced in this league.
I’d renew Frey because when he’s on the pitch we are rarely bullied. However, next season should be him, Celar, Kelman AND AN Other. That player again, needs to be physical and with experience of this level. That way you have two similar styled players in Kelman and Celar, and 2 similar styles in Frey and this fella. Gives us two ways of playing with back ups up top for both approaches. Lloyd needs a loan. Kolli is not a number 9. He should play in one of the wide attacking areas.
The approach this summer must be different. If it’s not, and we lose some of our more experienced pros, it’ll be a horrible season.
By my count we need 6-10 new players depending on whether Cook, Frey, Dunne renew and Saito signs. |
Agreed.
And Championship experience is a must. | |
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| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 10:31 - Mar 31 with 3157 views | daveB |
Thank god for this report as I keep being told on twitter the recruitment is really good and I'm over reacting. The description of the team at it's best was superb and worryingly accurate
I'm on one leg at the moment so had to miss the game and despite beiong 150 quid out of pocket the only positive of the day was I watched it at home.
That first goal Andy Sinton called if 10 mins before that we need to get over and help Anderson as they were getting in too easily.
Thats the third heavy defeat this season (boro and Hull at home the others) where the scoreline flattered us in the end, Stoke could easily have won that 5-0 and they were no good |  | | |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 10:45 - Mar 31 with 3062 views | QPunkR |
Thank all the fukcs in fukcdom that I missed the game due to fam'ly stuff. Sounds thoroughly embarrassing. We can all do without seeing that utter fraud Madsen sloping round the pitch ever again |  |
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| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 10:45 - Mar 31 with 3059 views | Wegerles_Stairs |
Imagine clapping them off after that... | | | |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 10:48 - Mar 31 with 3032 views | colinallcars |
A justly excoriating report. Thank you again Clive. |  | | |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 11:15 - Mar 31 with 2925 views | TK1 |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 10:31 - Mar 31 by daveB |
Thank god for this report as I keep being told on twitter the recruitment is really good and I'm over reacting. The description of the team at it's best was superb and worryingly accurate
I'm on one leg at the moment so had to miss the game and despite beiong 150 quid out of pocket the only positive of the day was I watched it at home.
That first goal Andy Sinton called if 10 mins before that we need to get over and help Anderson as they were getting in too easily.
Thats the third heavy defeat this season (boro and Hull at home the others) where the scoreline flattered us in the end, Stoke could easily have won that 5-0 and they were no good |
I'm reading your conversation with some absolute idiotic maniacs on Twitter/X. Have banned myself from Twitter QPR as it's too mad, and your conversation is exactly why. Incredible stuff.
There's the (presumably) kids who love Nourry - and I get that, they want to believe the future is bright, burn down the past, why not, we've all been young but luckily for me Clive Allen was up front - and who seem to think we've a world class academy with "generational talent" playing there who'll be be international footballers soon (based on YouTube goal comps) and reply to anybody despairing of these long losing runs with "LMAO, who cares" type comments because they think the "fanbase" (mate, we're supporters, or fans, not a fanbase unless you're just on social media) are "so weird, man". That's the guy who made out Kevin Gallen was just bitter he wasn't Rayan Kolli, that was a good one.
Then there's the guy who thinks we're on the cusp of a brilliant summer of recruitment, that the finances are actually really good if you look closely, and next season will be incredible because we can get rid of the dead wood and Nourry's team can buy some more good players. That you're an idiot if you're not really optimistic.
This is the bit in Clive's report that really nails it. Whatever people thought of Les (and Ramsey), of some of their failed signings, there was always a sense that they knew what they needed to win games, of the mix required of Geoff Cameron-style dull experience with the kind of young players who might step up, that they knew enough people in football, had experience of dressing rooms, contracts at clubs, that between them and say Holloway or Warburton (even McClaren), they'd sign enough players like Barbet, Freedman, BOS, etc, players who could get the job done. (They only really messed up when Beale had a say too)
Next summer, likely Nourry and Belk will be choosing a new coach and most of a new squad. Each will be received on socials the way Madsen, Dembele, Celar were received last summer, like we'd signed prototype Mpabbe and De Bruyne, that they had the league sown up, "they ain't ready for Nourry": an actual quote after we signed Madsen. It's going to end in tears. Ours.
This is the kind of thing I can't reply to your thread on Twitter. But valiant effort, Dave. [Post edited 31 Mar 11:16]
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| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 11:35 - Mar 31 with 2813 views | Rangersw12 |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 11:15 - Mar 31 by TK1 |
I'm reading your conversation with some absolute idiotic maniacs on Twitter/X. Have banned myself from Twitter QPR as it's too mad, and your conversation is exactly why. Incredible stuff.
There's the (presumably) kids who love Nourry - and I get that, they want to believe the future is bright, burn down the past, why not, we've all been young but luckily for me Clive Allen was up front - and who seem to think we've a world class academy with "generational talent" playing there who'll be be international footballers soon (based on YouTube goal comps) and reply to anybody despairing of these long losing runs with "LMAO, who cares" type comments because they think the "fanbase" (mate, we're supporters, or fans, not a fanbase unless you're just on social media) are "so weird, man". That's the guy who made out Kevin Gallen was just bitter he wasn't Rayan Kolli, that was a good one.
Then there's the guy who thinks we're on the cusp of a brilliant summer of recruitment, that the finances are actually really good if you look closely, and next season will be incredible because we can get rid of the dead wood and Nourry's team can buy some more good players. That you're an idiot if you're not really optimistic.
This is the bit in Clive's report that really nails it. Whatever people thought of Les (and Ramsey), of some of their failed signings, there was always a sense that they knew what they needed to win games, of the mix required of Geoff Cameron-style dull experience with the kind of young players who might step up, that they knew enough people in football, had experience of dressing rooms, contracts at clubs, that between them and say Holloway or Warburton (even McClaren), they'd sign enough players like Barbet, Freedman, BOS, etc, players who could get the job done. (They only really messed up when Beale had a say too)
Next summer, likely Nourry and Belk will be choosing a new coach and most of a new squad. Each will be received on socials the way Madsen, Dembele, Celar were received last summer, like we'd signed prototype Mpabbe and De Bruyne, that they had the league sown up, "they ain't ready for Nourry": an actual quote after we signed Madsen. It's going to end in tears. Ours.
This is the kind of thing I can't reply to your thread on Twitter. But valiant effort, Dave. [Post edited 31 Mar 11:16]
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Brilliant post. one the best decisions I've ever done was drawling a line in the sand and stopping interacting on twitter.
I get it these people are young but fck me they genuinely haven't a clue and just think football is one big FM save . | | | |
| Injury hit, on the beach and checked out, QPR soundly beaten – Report on 11:35 - Mar 31 with 2794 views | FrankRightguard |
One can only hope and pray that this summers recruitment has caused some lessons to be learned from Master Nourry. Stats based signings alone are way off the mark. Identify by stats by all means but then watch them, watch them, watch them! If anyone had been to see Madsen in the flesh surely to go they’d have given him a wide berth.
Had high hopes for Anderson after the end of last season but that on Saturday was something akin to walking football. Marti ran out of places he could hide him in the end! |  | | |
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